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We often talk about people who are always ready to lend a hand, the ones who never say ‘no’. But what about when their helpful nature is taken for a ride?
Believe it or not, being too nice can sometimes lead to people taking advantage of you.
Let’s go through the 10 signs that show you’re way too nice for your own good (and people might be using it to their benefit).
You might just recognize yourself in there.
1. You’re Always Saying “Yes”
Ever heard of a little two-letter word called ‘No’? If your immediate response to any request or favor is always a ‘yes’, then you’re starting off our list at number one.
We get it – saying ‘no’ can be hard. You don’t want to disappoint anyone or make them think you’re not helpful.
But here’s the thing – it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. And, more importantly, you don’t have to!
If you’re always saying ‘yes’, even when you’re busy, tired, or simply don’t want to do something, then people might start taking your kindness for granted.
They’ll know they can always rely on you to agree, which can lead to them asking more and more of you.
So, try flexing that ‘no’ muscle sometimes. It might feel weird at first but remember: saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re looking out for yourself too, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
2. You’re Always Putting Others Before Yourself
Are you constantly putting other people’s needs, wants, and feelings ahead of your own? If so, you might be in the number two spot.
Helping others is a beautiful thing, but when it starts to overshadow your own needs and desires, it’s a problem.
If you’re always sacrificing your time, energy, and even happiness for others without thinking twice, people might start taking this for granted.
Remember, it’s not selfish to think about yourself. Your feelings matter. Your time is valuable. It’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary! If you don’t look out for yourself, who will?
When you’re about to drop everything for someone else, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if this is really what you want or need to be doing. If the answer is ‘no’, then it’s okay to step back and put yourself first.
3. You Feel Guilty For Saying ‘No’
Ever felt a pang of guilt for turning down a request or favor? If so, welcome to sign number three.
I’ll tell you a story. A few years back, I was that person who would always say ‘yes’. I’d agree to every favor, attend every event, help out with every problem.
Then one day, I was feeling under the weather and a friend asked me to help them move. For the first time in a long while, I said ‘no’. And oh boy, did the guilt hit me. I felt like I’d let them down, like I was being a bad friend.
But then something amazing happened. They said it was okay, and they understood! That’s when I realized something important: people who truly care about you will understand when you can’t or don’t want to do something.
If you’re feeling guilty for saying ‘no’, remember my story. It’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes. People who value you and your friendship will understand, and those who don’t – well, they are probably the ones taking advantage of your good nature anyway. You deserve better than that.
4. You’re Always Apologizing
Are you constantly saying ‘sorry’, even when it’s not your fault? If so, this is a big sign that you might be being too nice.
Apologizing when we’ve done something wrong is a sign of maturity and respect. But saying ‘sorry’ when you’ve done nothing wrong can make others think they can walk all over you.
People who are overly nice or people-pleasers often apologize more and are more likely to be taken advantage of.
People-pleasers apologize even when they are not at fault because they want to maintain relationships and avoid conflict.
When you find yourself apologizing for no reason, stop and think: Did I actually do something wrong? Or am I just trying to keep the peace?
Remember, you don’t have to apologize for existing or having needs and wants. You deserve respect just like everyone else.
5. You Feel Taken For Granted
Is your kindness often overlooked? Do you feel like people expect you to always be there, to always help, and to always say yes? If so, you’ve landed on sign number five.
Being taken for granted is a painful experience. It’s like you’re a supporting character in a movie, always there but never really noticed or appreciated. It can make you feel invisible, unimportant, and quite honestly, pretty lousy.
If you’re feeling this way, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate your relationships. Genuine friendships and relationships should be based on mutual respect and appreciation.
If people only remember you when they need something, it’s not fair to you.
Remember, your worth is not determined by what you can do for others. You are enough just as you are. It’s high time people start recognizing your value and treating you with the respect and love that you truly deserve.
6. You Rarely Receive Help When You Need It
Have you noticed that when you need a favor, most people are suddenly busy? If so, this is a clear sign you’re being too nice.
I remember when I was planning a big move. I had helped countless friends move apartments, often giving up my weekends to lend a hand. But when it was my turn to ask for help, hardly anyone was available. It was a wake-up call.
That’s when I realized that constantly bending over backwards for others doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll do the same for you.
It’s not about keeping score, but about reciprocal respect and effort. If you’re always there for others but they’re never there for you, it may be time to reconsider who you’re giving your time and energy to.
A relationship of any kind should be a two-way street. You deserve the same level of kindness and assistance that you provide to others.
If you’re not getting it, it’s okay to step back and reassess those relationships.
7. You’re Always The Listener, Never The Talker
Does it feel like your conversations are more like monologues? Are you always the one lending an ear, but when it comes to sharing your own thoughts and feelings, no one’s really there? If so, you’ve landed on sign number seven.
This one’s a tough pill to swallow: you’re being used as a sounding board. It’s harsh, I know. You’re more than just an outlet for others to vent their frustrations or share their stories. Your voice matters. Your stories matter. And it’s about damn time people start listening!
In a real friendship or relationship, conversation is a two-way street. It’s give and take. If you find yourself always on the receiving end of someone’s rant but they never have time for your stories or problems, it’s not okay.
You deserve to be heard just as much as anyone else. Don’t let people use you as an emotional dumpster while ignoring your own feelings and thoughts. Speak up! Your words are worth listening to.
8. You’re Always Picking Up The Slack
Are you always the one who finishes the project, cleans up after the party, or covers for a co-worker who didn’t complete their tasks? If this sounds like you, then we’re looking at sign number eight.
People who are overly conscientious and too nice at work often end up doing ‘office housework’. This means they do the tasks that are necessary but often undervalued and not recognized. This can lead to burnout and a lack of career advancement.
If you’re continuously picking up the slack for others, it’s time to set some boundaries. It’s not your job to make up for other people’s laziness or irresponsibility. You have your own tasks and responsibilities to take care of.
It’s okay to say ‘no’ and let others handle their own duties. You’re not their babysitter, you’re their peer. You deserve recognition for your own work, not just the work others didn’t do.:
9. You Feel Drained All The Time
Do you often feel emotionally and physically exhausted? Like you’re running on empty and just don’t have the energy to deal with anything else? If so, welcome to sign number nine.
I’ve been there. I was always the one making plans, solving problems, lending a hand – you name it. It got to the point where I was so drained, I barely had energy for myself. My life was revolving around others, and it felt like I was just surviving rather than living.
That’s when I realized that being too nice was taking a toll on my health and well-being. It’s not healthy to be constantly giving without receiving, to be always caring without being cared for.
If this resonates with you, it’s time to take a step back. Start prioritizing self-care and boundaries.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s okay (and necessary) to take time for yourself to relax and recharge. You owe it to yourself.
10. You Feel Resentful
Ever feel a bitter taste in your mouth when you think about all the things you do for others and how little you get back? If so, you’ve hit the last sign – resentment.
Resentment is a clear sign that you’re giving too much of yourself to others and not enough to yourself.
It’s a sign that your efforts aren’t being appreciated or reciprocated, and that’s not fair. You’re not a robot, constantly programmed to help and give. You’re a human with feelings, needs, and desires.
If you’re starting to feel resentment towards people you’re always helping, it’s time for a change. It’s time to start demanding respect and equality in your relationships. It’s time for you to start getting as much as you give.
In conclusion, being too nice isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, it might be causing people to take advantage of you. It’s time to stand up for yourself and set some boundaries.
Remember, it’s okay to say ‘no’, it’s okay to put yourself first, and it’s okay to demand respect and reciprocity in your relationships. You deserve it!