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Navigating the dating scene isn’t always a walk in the park. Sometimes, without realizing it, we may be doing things that instantly put women off.
Let’s be honest, we all have our blind spots when it comes to understanding the opposite sex. You might think you’re being charming, but you’re actually turning her away.
This article isn’t about criticizing you, but rather shedding light on those subtle actions that might be sabotaging your efforts.
Here, I’ve compiled a list of “10 things you don’t realize you’re doing that make women instantly dislike you”. It’s time to take note and start making changes.
1) Dominating the conversation
We’ve all been there – stuck in a conversation where the other person just won’t stop talking about themselves.
This is a common mistake many people make, especially in a dating context. You might think that demonstrating your achievements, interests, and skills is impressive. And sure, it’s essential to share about ourselves. But there’s a difference between sharing and dominating.
If you’re doing all the talking, she’s probably doing all the eye-rolling. Women appreciate an engaging conversation where both parties get equal opportunities to share and listen.
Remember, communication is a two-way street. If you’re always in the driving seat, she might just decide to hop out at the next stop.
So the next time you’re on a date or chatting with a woman, ensure you’re not unintentionally hogging the conversation. Let her share, listen attentively, and respond genuinely. It’s not just about making her like you, but also about understanding her better.
2) Being overly competitive
I remember a time when I was at a local pub with some friends. They had a dartboard, and one of my friends suggested we play. A woman from another group of friends, who was clearly skilled, joined us.
I’m usually quite competitive – it’s just part of my nature. But that night, my competitiveness got the best of me. I tried to outdo her at every throw, not realizing I was coming off as overly aggressive and dismissive of her skills.
Thinking back, I realize now that my competitive nature actually worked against me. Instead of enjoying a friendly game of darts, I turned it into a battlefield. And the woman? She quickly lost interest and returned to her group.
Being competitive isn’t inherently bad. It shows ambition and drive. But when it starts to overshadow your ability to connect with others, especially women, it can become a problem.
Find balance. Know when to compete and when to collaborate. Remember, life isn’t always about winning — sometimes, it’s about enjoying the game and appreciating the people you’re playing with.
3) Neglecting personal hygiene
Did you know that our olfactory sense, or sense of smell, directly links to the emotional center of our brain? This means that smells can evoke strong emotional reactions.
When it comes to attraction, scent plays a significant role. A pleasant smell can draw people in, while a bad one can push them away.
It’s not just about wearing the right cologne or aftershave, though those certainly help. It’s more about basic cleanliness. Brushing your teeth regularly, washing your hands, taking showers, and wearing clean clothes are all part of maintaining good personal hygiene.
Women notice these things. No matter how charming or attractive you are, if you aren’t taking care of your personal hygiene, it’s likely to turn them off.
So don’t neglect this crucial aspect. After all, cleanliness isn’t just about health; it’s also about respect for yourself and others around you.
4) Overdoing the compliments
Compliments can be a great way to show appreciation and express attraction. However, when overdone, they tend to lose their impact and can even come off as insincere.
Imagine this scenario: you meet a woman and start showering her with compliments right off the bat. “You’re so beautiful”, “Your dress is stunning”, “You’re the smartest woman I’ve met”. It might seem like you’re just being nice, but to her, it could seem like you’re trying too hard.
Rather than going overboard with the flattery, focus on giving genuine compliments. An authentic compliment is more about observation than about making someone feel good. For instance, instead of saying “You’re so smart,” you could say, “I admire how you handled that situation. You showed great problem-solving skills.”
Remember, authenticity goes a long way in building genuine connections. So keep your compliments real and well-timed.
5) Being disrespectful towards others
Whether on a date or in a casual setting, how you treat others around you speaks volumes about your character.
You could be treating the woman you’re with like a queen, but if you’re rude to the waiter or dismissive towards your friends, it’s not going to sit well with her.
Nobody likes to be around someone who treats other people poorly. It might make her wonder if you’d treat her the same way when the initial charm wears off.
So always be mindful of your actions and words towards others. A kind gesture or a simple “please” or “thank you” can go a long way in showing the kind of person you are. And trust me, women notice these things.
6) Failing to show empathy
One of the most beautiful aspects of being human is our capacity to empathize – to understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy isn’t just about sympathizing; it’s about connecting on a deeper level.
I’ve seen many instances where a man fails to show empathy towards a woman, brushing off her concerns or emotions as if they were insignificant. But let me tell you, nothing distances a woman faster than the feeling of being unheard or dismissed.
Whether she’s sharing about a bad day at work, or expressing worries about a personal issue, being there for her emotionally is crucial. Listen to her, validate her feelings, and offer comfort or advice when appropriate.
Empathy can bridge the gap between misunderstanding and connection. It can make her feel seen, valued, and appreciated. And that, my friends, is more powerful than any pickup line or grand gesture.
7) Trying to fix everything
When I was first starting to date, I had this idea that I needed to solve all the problems that a woman presented to me. If she was upset about something, I’d immediately jump into solution mode, offering advice, suggestions, and possible fixes.
But over time, I learned that not every problem needs an immediate solution. Sometimes, what a woman needs is just someone who listens, understands, and supports her.
It’s instinctive for many of us to want to fix things. But remember that it’s not your job to solve all her problems. Instead of jumping in with solutions, try asking if she wants your advice or if she just needs someone to listen.
Being supportive doesn’t always mean providing answers. Sometimes, it merely means being there in the moment with her.
8) Always agreeing with her
You might think that agreeing with everything she says will make her like you more. After all, who doesn’t like someone who shares the same opinions, right?
Wrong.
Constantly agreeing can actually come off as disingenuous or even boring. It might make her feel like you’re trying to appease her rather than expressing your true thoughts.
Having differing opinions doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. In fact, it can lead to stimulating conversations and mutual learning. The key is to express your viewpoints respectfully and be open to understanding hers.
Remember, authenticity is attractive. So don’t be afraid to have your own opinions and share them respectfully.
9) Being too possessive
While it’s natural to want to spend time with someone you’re interested in, being overly possessive can be a major turn-off.
If she’s constantly receiving texts from you checking up on her, or if you’re showing signs of jealousy when she spends time with others, it can make her feel suffocated. This kind of behaviour can come off as controlling, and no one wants to be in a relationship where they feel their freedom is compromised.
A healthy relationship is built on trust and respect for each other’s personal space and independence. Show her that you trust her and value her independence. It’s essential to maintain a balance between spending time together and apart.
Remember, giving space can sometimes bring people closer than constant proximity.
10) Not being genuine
At the end of the day, the most attractive quality a person can possess is authenticity.
If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, or if you’re hiding parts of yourself out of fear of rejection, it’s likely to backfire. Women value honesty and authenticity. They appreciate men who are comfortable in their skin and true to themselves.
So be genuine. Be open about your strengths and weaknesses. Share your passions, your fears, your dreams. Let her see the real you.
Because there’s nothing more appealing than a man who embraces his authenticity with confidence and grace.
Final thoughts: It’s all about respect
At the heart of all these points is one common thread – respect.
Respecting a woman involves more than just treating her well. It’s about acknowledging her as an individual with her own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It’s about understanding that she is her own person, with her own life and interests.
When you genuinely respect a woman, you listen to her, value her opinions, give her space, and treat her with kindness and understanding. You don’t try to control or change her. Instead, you appreciate her for who she is.
If there’s one thing to take away from this list, it’s this: Cultivate genuine respect for women. Not just because you want them to like you, but because it’s the decent thing to do.
As the saying goes, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” So let respect guide your actions and interactions with women. It may not make every woman fall for you, but it will undoubtedly make you a better man.