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Being a real man isn’t about strength, arrogance, or dominance. It’s about respect, understanding, and communication. It’s a fine line of knowing what to say, when to say it, and more importantly, what not to say.
When it comes to communicating with women, your choice of words can either make you shine or land you in hot water. One wrong remark can turn a pleasant conversation into a tense one.
Here’s the deal guys: there are certain things that you should never say to a woman if you want to be seen as a real man. Let’s look at ten of them.
1) “You’re just like my ex…”
Let’s cut to the chase, fellas. Comparison is a dangerous game, especially when it involves an ex.
Women, just like men, want to be seen for who they truly are, not in the shadow of your previous relationship. When you say, “You’re just like my ex…”, it’s not just disrespectful; it’s dismissive. It minimizes her individuality and reduces her to someone from your past.
Even if you mean it as a compliment or in jest, it’s a line that can easily be misconstrued and lead to tension or hurt feelings.
Remember, real men value and respect the uniqueness of each woman they interact with. They understand that everyone has their own experiences, perspectives, and identities that deserve recognition and respect.
So guys, let’s leave the ex-talk at the door if you want to be seen as a real man.
2) “Are you sure you can handle that?”
Here’s a personal story. A few years ago, I was helping a friend move to her new apartment. She was carrying a rather large box and I, without thinking, blurted out, “Are you sure you can handle that?”
I thought I was expressing concern, being helpful. But as soon as the words left my mouth, I realized my mistake. Her face said it all. I had unintentionally undermined her capability.
The phrase might seem harmless, even caring on the surface, but it can easily be interpreted as doubt in her abilities or strength. It’s a subtle form of belittlement that undermines her independence and confidence.
Being a real man is about respecting a woman’s capabilities and not underestimating her based on preconceived notions about gender roles. So catch yourself before you question her abilities next time. Trust me, it’s a lesson well learned.
3) “You look tired.”
Consider this: A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that women who were told they looked tired or worn out were perceived as less competent.
When you tell a woman she looks tired, it might feel like an innocent observation to you. But to her, it can be interpreted as you saying she looks less competent or less attractive.
This seemingly harmless statement can actually be a blow to her self-esteem. It’s better to ask about her day or how she’s feeling instead. This shows concern without making a potentially offensive remark about her appearance.
So bear in mind, being a real man is about uplifting and not unknowingly diminishing a woman’s confidence with your words.
4) “Calm down.”
Telling a woman to “calm down” when she is expressing her feelings is not just dismissive, it’s disrespectful. It’s as if you’re saying her emotions are not valid or overblown.
Emotions are a part of human nature, and everyone has the right to express them without being told they’re overreacting. It’s better to show empathy and understanding, rather than trying to control how someone should feel or react.
A real man listens and offers support when a woman is expressing her feelings. He doesn’t belittle her emotions or try to silence her. So next time, instead of telling her to “calm down”, try showing understanding and acknowledging her feelings.
5) “You’re being too emotional.”
It’s a common stereotype that women are more emotional than men, but it’s not an excuse to dismiss their feelings. When you tell a woman she’s being ‘too emotional’, it can feel like you’re invalidating her feelings and experiences.
Being in touch with our emotions and expressing them doesn’t make us irrational or overly sensitive. It’s a healthy part of human interaction.
A real man doesn’t belittle a woman for expressing her emotions. Instead, he understands that everyone has emotions and respects her right to express them. So remember, never tell a woman she’s ‘being too emotional’. Show empathy and understanding instead.
6) “You don’t look like you work out.”
This statement might seem like an innocent observation, but it can actually be quite hurtful. Everyone has a unique body type and fitness level, and there’s no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to physical appearance.
Telling a woman she doesn’t look like she works out implies that there’s a specific way a woman who exercises should look. This can damage her self-esteem and create insecurities about her appearance.
A real man understands that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. He doesn’t judge or make assumptions based on a woman’s physical appearance. Instead, he respects her for who she is, appreciates her unique beauty, and supports her in her own personal fitness journey.
So guys, let’s remember to celebrate diversity in body types and refrain from making such remarks. It’s the heart that matters, not the exterior.
7) “Why can’t you be more like…?”
Once, in a moment of frustration, I compared someone I cared for to another person. “Why can’t you be more like…?” I asked. The instant regret I felt was palpable. The hurt in her eyes, unforgettable.
Comparing a woman to others, whether it’s her friend, your friend, or even a celebrity, is a surefire way to breed resentment. It’s a direct hit to her self-confidence and sends the message that she’s not good enough as she is.
Each person is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. Embracing these differences is what makes relationships meaningful and rich.
A real man appreciates the woman in front of him for who she is, without unfair comparisons to others. So, if you want to be seen as a real man, remember: comparisons are unnecessary and harmful. Cherish her uniqueness instead.
8) “You’re not like other girls.”
This might seem like a compliment on the surface, but let’s dig a little deeper. When you say, “You’re not like other girls,” it implies that there’s something wrong with being ‘like other girls’. It suggests that the woman you’re talking to is an exception, while subtly putting down other women.
It’s a sort of backhanded compliment that separates women into categories and perpetuates stereotypes. Women are diverse, with a wide range of interests, talents, and personalities. There’s no ‘typical girl’ mold that they need to fit into or stand apart from.
A real man celebrates the individuality of all women without resorting to stereotypes or comparisons. So next time, instead of saying she’s not like other girls, appreciate her for her unique attributes and qualities.
9) “You should smile more.”
Telling a woman to smile more might seem like a harmless suggestion, but it can come off as controlling and disrespectful. It implies that her natural state isn’t pleasing to you, and that she should adjust her behavior for your benefit.
Remember, no one is obligated to look cheerful all the time. People have a range of emotions, and they’re allowed to express them freely.
A real man respects a woman’s autonomy and understands that her expressions are her own to control. So instead of suggesting she should smile more, try understanding what’s going on with her. Show empathy and concern instead of giving unsolicited advice.
10) “You’re overreacting.”
This phrase is perhaps one of the most damaging things you could say to a woman. It dismisses her feelings and experiences, making her feel as though her reactions are invalid or too extreme.
When a woman expresses her feelings, it’s important to listen and validate her, rather than trivialize her emotions.
A real man listens, validates and respects a woman’s feelings. He understands that his role isn’t to judge whether her reaction is proportionate or not, but to provide support and understanding. So remember, never tell a woman she’s overreacting. Instead, be there for her, listen to her, and respect her feelings.
Final thoughts: It’s all about respect
At the heart of this discourse, it’s not just about knowing the right things to say or avoid. It’s about respect.
Respect for her individuality, her emotions, her capabilities, and her experiences. The words we choose to use can significantly impact how we make others feel, and it’s crucial to use them wisely.
A quote by philosopher Immanuel Kant comes to mind here: “We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.” Let’s tweak that a little for our context – “We can judge the heart of a man by his choice of words towards women.”
The mark of a real man lies not in his strength, but in his sensitivity and respect towards others. And that includes being mindful of our words and their potential impact.
So as you navigate through your interactions with women, remember, it’s not just about avoiding certain phrases. It’s about fostering respect, understanding, and equality in every conversation.