By 
There’s a fine line between being patient and being taken advantage of. And sometimes, it’s hard to tell which side of the line you’re on.
She’s sweet, she’s charming, but there are moments when you can’t help but wonder if she’s intentionally pushing your buttons. Am I right?
You’re not alone. As a relationship expert , I’ve seen many who struggle with the same question – is she testing my patience on purpose?
Well, today, I hope to clarify things a bit for you. I’ll guide you through 7 telltale signs that she might be doing just that.
But remember, every relationship is unique, and these signs are simply guideposts, not definitive answers.
So sit back, take a deep breath, and let’s dive in.
1) She’s overly critical of you
Does it sometimes feel like nothing you do is good enough for her? You know, she frequently points out your flaws, critiques your decisions, or nitpicks your behavior?
Constant criticism in a relationship can be incredibly damaging. It often starts with small complaints but can grow into a pervasive atmosphere of negativity. In fact, as noted by the experts at Choosing Therapy, it’s “one of four main interpersonal behaviors that may predict divorce, as it is strongly associated with marital and relationship dissatisfaction.”
This critical behavior might stem from her own insecurities or an attempt to exert control in the relationship but this doesn’t mean that you need to just take to on the chin.
So what can you do about it?
First, recognize that criticism often says more about the critic than the one being criticized. Stay calm, set clear boundaries about what is acceptable, and don’t hesitate to communicate how her words are affecting you.
It’s essential to address this behavior before it erodes the foundation of your relationship.
2) She’s frequently cancelling plans
In this unpredictable life, it’s completely normal for plans to change last minute. We all deal with unforeseen circumstances and unexpected events. But when she starts canceling plans on the regular, you might want to hit the pause button and reflect.
Trust me, no one likes to be kept on their toes constantly. It’s tiring, and it can feel like you’re being taken for granted.
Does she often cancel plans at the last minute? Or maybe she’s always coming up with excuses for why she can’t make it? If you’re noticing this pattern, it could be a sign that she’s testing you intentionally.
That being said, communication is key in any relationship. Before jumping to conclusions, have an open conversation and express your concerns. It’s always good to hear her side of the story, too.
3) She’s constantly teasing you
Teasing might seem like lighthearted fun at first, but over time, it can start to wear on your nerves, especially if the jokes are aimed at sensitive topics.
When teasing becomes relentless, it often crosses the line from playful banter to subtle disrespect. While she might claim it’s all in good fun, the reality is that incessant teasing can erode your self-esteem and create a power imbalance in the relationship.
Teasing in relationships should be a mutual, enjoyable exchange that doesn’t leave one partner feeling belittled or on the defensive. When it becomes a tool to highlight your insecurities or flaws, it can feel more like an attack than affection.
Why does she do it, though?
Well, it can be a way for her to test how much you’re willing to tolerate. It’s a subtle form of control where she’s gauging your reactions to see how far she can push you.
If you find that her teasing leaves you feeling more hurt than amused, it’s crucial to communicate this to her clearly. Let her know that while you appreciate humor, there are boundaries that need to be respected.
4) She’s giving you the silent treatment
Oh, the silent treatment!
When disagreements arise, it’s natural to need a little space to cool off. But if she frequently responds to conflicts by giving you the silent treatment, it’s sometimes more than just a coping mechanism—it’s a way to test your patience and assert control.
The silent treatment can be one of the most frustrating and emotionally draining behaviors in a relationship. It’s a form of emotional manipulation where one partner withholds communication to punish or exert power over the other.
And as you might have guessed, it’s pretty darn harmful. As noted by psychologist Bernard Golden, Ph.D in a Psychology Today post, “Silent treatment creates an atmosphere of anxiety, fear, and sadness that preclude an underlying sense of safety.”
Basically, this behavior not only undermines healthy communication but also erodes trust and intimacy in the relationship. When she shuts down instead of addressing the issue, it prevents both of you from resolving conflicts constructively. Over time, this can create a cycle of unresolved issues and resentment, making it increasingly difficult to maintain a strong connection.
So, how should you respond?
Instead of waiting in silence, gently encourage her to talk about what’s bothering her.
I know this isn’t easy, but try to make it clear that you’re open to resolving the conflict and that the silent treatment isn’t a healthy way to communicate.
5) She’s giving you mixed signals
Do you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride with her?
One minute she’s affectionate and attentive, and the next, she’s distant and aloof. It’s like you’re constantly trying to decode her behavior. Sound familiar?
Mixed signals can be incredibly confusing and frustrating. They can make you question everything—your actions, your words, and even your worth in the relationship.
Why would she do this? Well, it might be a way for her to gauge your commitment or to see how much you’re willing to tolerate. Sometimes, it’s a form of emotional insecurity on her part, where she’s unsure of what she wants and projects that uncertainty onto you.
But before you get too caught up in the guessing game, take a step back. It’s important to understand that while her behavior might be testing your patience, it doesn’t necessarily mean she has bad intentions. Often, it’s a cry for attention or a way to feel more secure in the relationship.
The key here is communication. Address the mixed signals directly but with empathy. Let her know how her behavior is affecting you, and give her the space to express what’s really going on. By opening up this dialogue, you can move from confusion to clarity—together.
6) She keeps you waiting
Time is one of the most valuable things we have, and when someone constantly makes you wait—whether it’s showing up late, delaying decisions, or keeping you in limbo about plans—it’s a subtle way of testing your patience.
This behavior can be incredibly frustrating, especially if it happens regularly.
Keeping you waiting is a form of passive control. It’s a way of asserting dominance over the situation, showing that your time is less valuable than hers. This behavior can lead to feelings of disrespect and even resentment, as it suggests a lack of consideration for your schedule and priorities.
While it’s important to be understanding and flexible, it’s equally important to set boundaries around your time. Let her know that while you’re happy to be patient, your time is valuable too. If she continues to keep you waiting, it might be worth exploring whether this behavior is a symptom of a larger issue in your relationship.
7) She tests your boundaries
Last but not least, if she’s constantly pushing your boundaries—whether it’s ignoring your requests, crossing lines you’ve set, or challenging your limits—it’s another red flag.
Testing boundaries is often a way for someone to see how far they can go before you push back. It’s about control and seeing how much you’re willing to tolerate.
Addressing this issue involves standing firm on your boundaries and communicating clearly why they are important to you. It’s essential to let her know that respecting these boundaries is not just about maintaining peace but about fostering mutual respect and understanding.
If she continues to push against them, it might be a sign that she’s not fully invested in a healthy, balanced relationship.
The bottom line
Relationships are complex, and it’s natural to wonder if your partner is testing your patience. Recognizing these signs can help you navigate the challenges and strengthen your relationship. Remember, communication is key—addressing these behaviors head-on can lead to a healthier, more balanced connection.
What do you think? Have you experienced any of these signs? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below—we’d love to hear from you!