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The line between genuine love and pretense can often be blurred. It’s a tough spot to be in, suspecting that she might just be pretending to love you.
Drawing from psychology, there are subtle signs that can help you discern the truth. Yes, it’s heartbreaking to even think about it. But isn’t it better to know than live in a lie?
In this article, we’ll dive into those 9 subtle signs she might just be putting on an act of love. Remember, it’s not about being paranoid but about understanding better.
1) She’s often unresponsive
Let’s start with communication. It’s the lifeblood of any relationship, right?
According to psychological studies, there’s something called emotional responsiveness – a measure of how much your partner responds to your emotional needs.
When she genuinely loves you, she would be responsive to your feelings, your day-to-day stories, and even your trivial chit-chats.
But what if she’s not? If she often seems disinterested or distracted while you’re expressing yourself, it could be a sign she’s just pretending to love you.
It’s not about making assumptions but observing patterns. If her lack of responsiveness becomes a pattern, it might be time for a heart-to-heart talk.
Remember, it’s not about accusing but understanding better.
2) She avoids deep conversations
Another telltale sign, according to psychology, is avoiding deep conversations.
In my own experience, I dated someone who always steered clear of any serious talk. We had a lot of fun together, sure, but when it came to discussions about our future or our feelings, she’d change the subject abruptly or crack a joke to lighten the mood.
It took me a while to realize that this was her way of avoiding any real emotional commitment. She was great at pretending to be in love on a superficial level but balked at diving any deeper.
Looking back, I now understand that it was one of the signs she was just pretending to love me. Sometimes, it’s the deeper, more meaningful conversations that truly reveal the nature of a relationship.
3) She takes but rarely gives
One of the fundamental principles of a healthy relationship is reciprocal altruism. This is a fancy way of saying that in a genuine love relationship, both partners give and take – it’s not a one-way street.
But if she’s always on the receiving end and rarely reciprocates your gestures, it might be a sign that she’s pretending to love you. Whether it’s time, emotional support, or even small gifts – if it feels like you’re always the one giving, it might be time to reassess.
Reciprocal altruism is not just about materialistic things. It’s about emotional support, kindness, and understanding as well. If these elements are missing from her side, it may be a subtle sign of pretense.
4) Her actions don’t match her words
Actions speak louder than words – we’ve all heard that phrase before, right? Well, it holds a lot of truth when it comes to love.
If she often makes promises but fails to deliver, it’s a red flag. If she’s constantly apologizing but never changing her behavior, that’s another warning sign.
Psychology tells us that people who genuinely love you will show it through their actions. They’ll make an effort to keep their promises and change their behavior if it hurts you.
So if her actions are not aligning with her words, it might be an indication that she’s just pretending to be in love with you. It’s important to pay attention to what she does, not just what she says.
5) She’s secretive about her life
Transparency is a crucial element in any relationship. When there’s genuine love, there’s usually an openness about personal life, future plans, and past experiences.
But if she’s keeping major parts of her life hidden from you, it might be a sign she’s pretending to love you. If she rarely shares about her day, avoids questions about her past, or seems reluctant to discuss future plans, these can all be subtle signs.
Of course, everyone has a right to privacy. But in a relationship where love is genuine, there’s often a level of trust that encourages sharing and openness. So if she’s unusually secretive, it might be time to question why that is.
6) She doesn’t make time for you
Time is one of the most precious gifts we can give someone. When a person truly loves you, they will make time for you, no matter how busy their schedule might be.
When she constantly cancels plans or is always too busy to spend quality time together, it can hurt. You may start to feel like you’re not a priority in her life. It’s a feeling that’s hard to shake off and it’s not something you should ignore.
It’s not about demanding all her time, but rather about the desire to share moments and experiences together. If she’s constantly making excuses and you find yourself always waiting for her, it might be a sign she’s just pretending to love you.
Remember, when love is real, time and effort are never in question.
7) She doesn’t include you in her future
I remember being in a relationship where we were deeply involved in the present, but there was no mention of the future. No plans, no discussions about what’s next for us.
It felt like we were stuck in a bubble of present contentment, with no regard for tomorrow. When I brought up the topic of our future, she always dodged it with an uncertainty that left me feeling insecure.
Psychology tells us that when someone is genuinely in love, they envision their future with you in it. They include you in their plans and dreams.
If she avoids talking about the future or doesn’t include you in her plans, it could be a sign she’s pretending to love you. It’s not an easy realization, but it’s one worth considering.
8) She avoids physical contact
Physical affection is one of the most basic expressions of love. It can be as simple as a hug, a handhold, or a kiss on the forehead. These gestures make us feel loved, valued, and connected.
If she’s constantly avoiding physical contact or it feels forced when it does happen, it could be a sign she’s pretending to love you. Physical disconnect can often reflect an emotional disconnect.
Of course, everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical touch. But a noticeable lack of affection can indicate something deeper. It’s not about getting touchy-feely all the time but about expressing love through simple, affectionate gestures.
9) She doesn’t express her love
Expressing love is more than just saying “I love you”. It’s about showing care, concern, respect, and valuing the other person. Those who genuinely love you will make it known through their actions and words.
If she rarely expresses her love or only does it when prompted, it could be a sign she’s pretending to love you. Love isn’t something that needs constant prompting or reminding.
Remember, genuine love is expressed freely and unconditionally. If this element is missing in your relationship, it might be time to reassess.
Final thoughts: It’s about genuine connection
The complex dance of human emotions often revolves around one key element – authenticity.
In the realm of love, authenticity plays a central role. Genuine love is not about grand gestures or constant affirmations. It’s about showing up for each other, understanding, and mutual respect.
If you’re seeing these signs in your relationship, it might be an indicator that she’s pretending to love you. But remember, it’s not about pointing fingers or assigning blame.
Perhaps there’s a deeper issue at play. Maybe it’s fear of commitment, past emotional baggage, or even lack of self-love that’s causing her to pretend.
As Carl Jung once said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” It’s essential to introspect and communicate openly with your partner.
After all, love is about two souls connecting authentically. If that connection is absent or feels forced, it might be time for a heartfelt conversation. Reflect on these signs and trust your intuition. You deserve a love that’s genuine and true.