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What does it mean to be a high-value man?
In broad strokes, it’s about being a person who brings a lot of value to himself and the people around him.
He’s not necessarily perfect (after all, no one is) but they’re definitely the kind of guy that can enrich your life by being in it.
As a guy who’s known a few men like these, here are some of their traits that you should definitely watch out for – or try to develop yourself:
1) They Know What They’re Worth
“Worth” might sound difficult to define.
It’s not about money (though that can be a factor), family background (no matter how well-connected or simple they are), or even manners (since you can change that on-demand), but rather it’s how self-aware a guy is about who they are and what they bring to the table.
This type of self-awareness means that you’re aware of your faults, but you also have a fair idea of your strong points and what value you can bring to someone by being in a relationship with them, no matter what kind.
You have realistic expectations of yourself and what you can do (you’re humble), and you aren’t afraid to let other people know if they ask.
Knowing what you’re worth can only come from experiencing what you’re capable of, so it’s not something you can grasp if you never expose yourself to new things, people, and situations.
Once you know what you’re worth, it’s much easier to reach a value that you want to define for yourself.
2) They Get Told That They Have High Value
This might seem a little strange, but high-value men do get told that they’re high-value.
Don’t be mistaken – this isn’t about getting compliments (though high-value men get them frequently as well), it’s about reliability.
Being known as a reliable person means that you can be trusted to do what needs to be done or meet someone’s expectations that they have of you.
It’s difficult to pull this off if you aren’t a high-value man, at least in my experience.
These types of guys are always known as “the one you can depend on” among their friends and co-workers, and generally enjoy a high level of trust from the people they surround themselves with.
To a lesser extent, being told that you are “high-value” with certain things (finances, relationships, work ethics) can also be a sign of being a high-value person.
You don’t necessarily need to excel to have value: the important part is simply being told that you can be relied on to do what needs doing.
3) Emotionally Stable
Emotions can get the better of everyone at times, but a high-value man intrinsically knows not to let his emotions get the best of him.
He understands that there is a proper time and place when emotions can be felt, and can be counted on to not let his feelings get in the way of what he does.
For me, I always thought that being perfectly in control of your emotions all the time was one of the signs of being a high-value man.
It took quite a bit of time before I understood that control doesn’t always leave room for stability.
Sometimes, feelings have to be felt – it’s part of being human.
A high-value man understands this, and is in tune with his emotions, expressing them in healthy ways.
4) They Know How To Act With Tact
Tactfulness is an extremely underrated soft skill to have: learning how to handle difficult situations without escalating things further can often be the key thing to solving a lot of problems.
A high-value man puts thought into how he says and acts, taking into account the needs of the situation before them.
A lot of people confuse tactfulness with being straightforward or blunt.
While these qualities do intersect somewhat, tactfulness is best described as being considerate of someone or the situation at hand.
Always being blunt can be abrasive, but being deferential can make it seem like you can’t stand up for yourself. A high-value man understands when they should be direct, and the situations that call for a lighter touch.
5) Excellent Listening Skills
In today’s fast-paced and somewhat noisy culture, learning how to listen can open a lot of doors for you in life.
A high-value man understands when it’s best to simply keep their mouth shut and ears open, and the best times to respond with their input.
Good listening skills aren’t just for interpersonal communication either.
A high-value man will often listen to themselves, reflecting on what they need to do or say when the situation demands it.
These guys rarely say anything without giving it a thorough once-over in their heads before it leaves their mouth, and might even stay silent most of the time.
A high-value man is comfortable with silence since there are some things that they know can’t be communicated with just words.
Simply being in their presence brings people a sense of ease, as they know that they can be relied on to listen to them and them alone.
6) Consistent With What They Do
Consistency is another key thing that defines high-value men – they hold themselves to a set of standards that they don’t break.
In my experience, consistency is possibly one of the most useful traits to develop as a man: you’re more attractive to everyone, it simplifies your life enormously, and you cultivate a growth-related mindset with anything you try to accomplish.
Being consistent plays into a lot of the traits I talked about earlier, but one of the most important ones I haven’t mentioned yet is discipline.
Consistency and discipline are two strongly correlated traits: high-value men can muster the discipline needed to be consistent without having to twist themselves to do it.
What I’ve learned about consistency from high-value men I’ve met is that it’s never going to be easy.
Even if they’re consistent, they will have times and days where they’re not doing their best – and it’s important to give themselves allowances to slip up or slow down if there really isn’t a choice.
7) They Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously
Life can be difficult, unexpected, and just surprising at times.
With all this unpredictability, it can be tempting to always take things like the worst possible situation can happen at all times.
High-value men understand that while life can’t always be easy, there’s no need to act as if you’ll never catch a break.
What I’ve noticed is that high-value men don’t take themselves too seriously, whether that’s for good or bad. They know how to laugh at themselves, have fun, or relax.
Being high-strung all the time can do more harm than good, and high-value men understand that there are situations where you have to give your mind and body a break.
This is even more obvious in how they interact with people – they’re very frank about how they act and who they are, but they don’t go out of their way to present themselves as stoic.
They’re generally easy and agreeable to get along with, and a large part of that is because they don’t take themselves seriously.
8) Serious Investment In A Hobby
While having a hobby alone doesn’t always guarantee that you’re dealing with a high-value man, what I’ve found from my own encounters with them is that they always have one “thing” they’re really into.
It’s not something that they’re doing because it brings them money or it helps them with their goals – it’s a hobby that they just do because they want to, and they’re always looking to excel at it.
Why is this so common among high-value men? Personally, I think it’s a way for them to give themselves deliberate things to strive towards.
Most people push for their goals because of external reasons: they need the money, they want to recoup their investment, and so on.
High-value men stick with hobbies that generally don’t do anything for them because they understand that there are just some things worth doing, even if it doesn’t give you any significant benefits in return.
9) They Take Responsibility
A high-value man understands that being accountable for their actions is a necessary part of dealing with others. They don’t need to be told that they’re responsible for something or face the consequences of their actions – they do it without prompting.
Whether it’s good or bad, a high-value man knows that taking responsibility is something that people can always expect of them.
After all, a high-value man is a man of substance.
They don’t cheat on their partners. They behave in a trustworthy manner and they’re always honest.
It’s a natural response to being trusted with the expectations of so many, but it’s also honed by their years of experience with the things they’ve done and what came after them.
When you assign responsibility to a high-value man, you’ll never doubt that they’ll stray in their duty or obligation and that they’ll see things through.
And even if you don’t, if they’re the best person to take responsibility, they’ll never hesitate to take charge of the moment.
10) They Have A Sense Of Humor
Nothing can be more important to the health of a person than having the ability to laugh at themselves and the world.
High-value men know how valuable humor is, and they know that other people need it too.
It’s amazing how many things you can learn from their sense of humor, even more so when you take everything I’ve been talking about with consistency into account.
High-value men understand what it’s like to be subjected to situations that are far from funny, and they also know that sometimes all you can do is laugh at the ridiculousness of life.
It’s important for good mental health to be able to “let go” and laugh at yourself, just having a sense of humor is one of the easiest ways to do it.
11) They’re Always Learning
High-value men are generally always learning.
It doesn’t matter how experienced they already are, how much they know, or what they do – there will always be something new to learn.
They make it a habit each day to read books or listen to podcasts that are related to something new that they could apply to their life.
One of the best pieces of advice I can give you when building your value as a man is to never stop learning, no matter how much you know.
12) They’re Passionate About What They Do
High-value men are passionate about what they do.
Whether it’s something that could bring them money, used for building relationships, or maybe just because it makes their life easier – whatever the case may be, high-value men understand that there’s a certain level of passion and dedication to achieve something with their work.
As high-value men build their lives, they focus on things that they’re passionate about.
If you can make a living off of something that you’re passionate about, it will be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.
If you’re building your value as a man, finding things to be passionate about is a huge way to get there.