Love. It’s this amazing force that can transform people. You can’t turn on the TV or scroll through social media without seeing some reference to it.
But here’s the thing: our culture also tells us that men are supposed to be wild and untamed, impossible to pin down. We hear “you can’t tie a man down” and “boys will be boys” all the time.
Honestly, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But you know what does make sense? Change. It’s the one constant in life.
Now, I know it might sound a bit out there, but hear me out. I’ve got some solid reasons why a man might just change for the woman he loves. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.
1) Trying To Be Someone They Can Be Proud Of
When you’re in a relationship with someone you truly care about, you want to be the best version of yourself that you can be. It’s natural to want your partner to be proud of you.
And guess what? Men are no exception to this. In fact, when a man finds himself with a partner that he thinks is absolutely amazing, it can be a huge motivator to better himself.
I’ve been there, my friends. I’ve been with some incredible women who have inspired me to push myself further and be the best possible version of myself.
Sometimes it’s the little things that we do that make the biggest difference, but trust me, those efforts are always there.
2) Internalizing Shared Lessons And Experiences
Relationships are all about shared experiences.
For men, these shared experiences hold a lot of value to them, even if the lessons take some time to be realized and acted on.
These shared experiences can cause them to change, even drastically depending on their partner.
Changes like these are a hallmark that they’re receptive to what they’ve been through in the relationship.
Of course, there’s no guarantee that they’ll change for the better, but what’s important is that they internalize the experiences that the two of you have had.
3) Doing It For The Children
For guys who want to have kids someday, falling in love is the first step in changing who they are as a person.
Even if it’s not something they’ll admit or realize, there’s an instinct that awakens in men that can urge them to really protect their future kids, starting with their future wife.
I’ve seen this a lot from my uncles and cousins that would sober up, stop smoking, or otherwise clean up their act as soon as children were on the table in their relationships.
Again, it’s not a guarantee that it’ll happen for all men, but it can and does play a role.
4) Impressing Their Shared Friends And Family
When you love someone, you have to love the people around them too.
It’s important to get along with the people in your significant other’s life, if only because they were there first and they’ve known her for longer.
If you have very discerning friends as I do, it’s not uncommon for them to take an active role in your love life, especially if they don’t like the man.
Some might chew him out, but more supportive friends and family will also try to influence him to change into someone better for you.
5) A Renewed Sense Of Pride
It’s often easy to forget because of dating apps and all the other ways you can meet people, but it can be surprisingly easy to end up alone. And generally (especially for men), being alone is not something to be proud of.
So when they do manage to find a woman and enter a relationship with them, there’s an incentive for them to change because they feel like they’ve been vindicated by someone else’s belief and love for them.
6) He’s Sure She’s The One
Call it cliche, but I still believe in the concept of “the one”.
They don’t have to be just one person or someone you’ll meet only once, but they do exist – the one that matters most of all in your life.
Men who believe they’ve met the woman for them are likely to run with this idea.
Subconsciously, they start molding themselves into the man that she likes.
It’s an idea that’s somehow rooted in survival – making sure that she doesn’t become interested in anyone else – but it’s a powerful force that can cause drastic changes in a man.
7) He’s Scared Of Losing Her
Something related to the above motivation is simply being scared: after all, who wants to let go of something that they value so much?
A man can change purely based on his impression of what will make a woman stay with him, and these changes can be very significant.
However, this isn’t the type of change you should be encouraging. I’ve talked to men who’ve tried to change just based on the fear of losing the woman, and it never ends well.
Change should be organic, never forced – especially for people in love.
8) It Becomes His New Normal
Everyone always has a little rough patch when they first start going out with someone.
It’s difficult to guarantee that you’ll be a perfect match right off the bat, and there’s always a period where you have to adjust to each other.
Sometimes, that adjustment is so easy that you change without even noticing it.
I’ve picked up a few habits from the women I’ve previously dated that I still keep years after we stopped.
While the scope of these changes will always depend on the relationship you have, I can tell you that it does stay for longer than you think.
9) Change Is Easier For Him
Being in a relationship means that you have someone that you need to be extra considerate of, or at least someone that requires more effort. In that case,
it’s far easier to just change for that other person’s needs, instead of being stubborn and doing things your way.
While this may sound like a guy gets influenced to do something against his will, that’s not always the case.
Some men genuinely end up with women that they want to change themselves for, with the changes not really being an issue at all.
10) She Encourages The Man To Change
Preferences come in all shapes and sizes. Most of the time, these preferences don’t really matter – but in a relationship?
They’re more or less the flavor that gives the man and the woman a reason to stay together.
Sometimes, the woman can be proactive and will start trying to “change the dish” to their favor; and from personal experience, I can tell you that this approach works.
It’s amazing what men in love are willing and capable of doing, and all a woman needs to do sometimes is to just create an environment where change is encouraged and supported.
11) They’re Learning More About Love
Men who are relatively inexperienced about love and relationships can be surprisingly susceptible to change for a woman, usually because they’re not familiar with how relationship dynamics work just yet.
People learn about love at different paces, and men (just like women) may sometimes go through a lot of adjustment before they become comfortable with who they are and what they can bring to a relationship.
But until then, they’re far more likely to change in response to their partner, especially if they’re just learning about how love can work.
12) Hidden Agendas And Motives
A far more sinister reason why men would change for a woman he loves is because they’re pursuing another agenda on top of the relationship.
I’ve seen this happen before and it never ends well for the woman, especially when something valuable is at stake.
One way to tell if their change is genuine is if it’s something done without prompting, especially if it’s a change that builds up and develops over time.
Men who have an ulterior motive can often change for the woman rapidly (almost overnight!) since the faster they can get to their actual agenda, the sooner they can ditch her.
13) They’re Worried About Another Guy
Jealousy is a powerful driving force, especially if a man loves a woman. Insecurity is a whole other thing – but even the most secure man on earth is likely to notice when their loved one takes special interest in someone else aside from them.
In that situation, the best way to “take back” the spotlight is to simply change to what the woman finds so interesting in another man.
This can happen intentionally or unintentionally – I’ve personally had a few girlfriends try this method on me – but it can be a very effective way to get a man to change.
14) It Just Feels Right For Them
And sometimes, men just change because of the woman they love. That’s it. There’s no rhyme or reason to it – they just change because she’s there.
It’s one of the most powerful proofs that people can affect other people simply by existing, and love is one of the most effective motivators for personal change.
These types of changes don’t really hold up to close scrutiny, because they’re never really meant to be analyzed. Likewise, it’s impossible to predict or plan around making these changes to a man, because they just happen.