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There’s a fine line between being supportive and being overly demanding.
This distinction often comes down to expectations. High maintenance women tend to expect more from their husbands, often obscuring their true needs behind a barrage of demands.
Supporting your spouse, however, involves clear communication and mutual understanding, allowing both parties to fulfill each other’s needs without feeling overwhelmed.
In this scenario, identifying certain behaviours can help you understand whether you or your spouse might be veering into high maintenance territory. Here are nine behaviours typically displayed by women who demand too much from their husbands.
1) Constant comparisons
There’s a common trait among high maintenance women that can be quite challenging for their husbands.
It’s the incessant need to compare.
These women have a habit of comparing their husbands to other men, their relationships to other couples, and their lifestyle to what they see on social media. These constant comparisons can create an unnecessary pressure and can erode the quality of their relationship over time.
Remember, comparison is often the thief of joy. It’s not about what others are doing or what they have; it’s about appreciating your unique journey together as a couple.
So if you find yourself constantly being compared or comparing, take note. It’s a classic sign of being high maintenance and demanding too much. But remember, it’s never too late for a change.
2) Need for constant reassurance
This is one that I’ve personally experienced in my past relationships.
High maintenance women often need constant reassurance, not just about their relationship, but about everything. They constantly seek validation and approval from their husbands.
In my case, I was once with someone who needed constant affirmation about her looks, our relationship, and her place in my life. I found myself constantly reassuring her, to the point where it began to strain our relationship. I was being drained emotionally, and it was a clear sign that she was demanding too much.
If you feel like you’re in a never-ending cycle of needing to validate and reassure your spouse, it might be time to address this behaviour. It’s crucial for both parties in a relationship to feel secure and confident without constant reassurance from the other.
3) Unreasonable financial expectations
There’s a difference between wanting a comfortable life and having unreasonable financial expectations. High maintenance women often fall into the latter category.
These women typically expect their husbands to finance a lifestyle that may be beyond their means. Designer clothes, luxurious vacations, the latest gadgets – these become must-haves rather than nice-to-haves.
Interestingly, a study by Brigham Young University found that couples who believed that money is not important are significantly happier in their marriages compared to those who considered money important.
So if you find your spouse pressuring you into spending beyond your capabilities, it’s an indication that they might be demanding too much. It’s always better to live within your means and value experiences over material possessions.
4) Lack of appreciation
One key behaviour displayed by high maintenance women is a lack of appreciation. This typically manifests as taking their husbands’ efforts for granted.
Whether it’s the little things like doing chores around the house or bigger gestures like planning a surprise date, these women often fail to acknowledge and appreciate these acts of love.
Instead, they focus on what’s lacking or what they believe their husbands should be doing. This lack of appreciation can lead to frustration and resentment in their husbands over time.
A healthy relationship thrives on mutual appreciation and respect. If you notice a lack of gratitude from your spouse, it’s a possible sign that they are demanding too much.
5) Excessive need for attention
High maintenance women often have an excessive need for attention. They expect their husbands to be at their beck and call, neglecting their own needs and priorities.
This could mean expecting constant communication throughout the day, getting upset when they’re not the center of attention, or demanding their husbands drop everything to cater to their needs.
While it’s normal to want attention from your spouse, an excessive need can strain the relationship. Everyone has their own lives, duties, and obligations. A balanced relationship allows both partners to have their individual space and time, along with shared moments.
So if you find your spouse demanding all your attention all the time, it’s a sign they might be high maintenance.
6) Lack of empathy
One of the most challenging behaviours to navigate in a relationship is the lack of empathy. High maintenance women can sometimes display this trait, and it can truly test the strength of a relationship.
Empathy forms the foundation of any strong bond. It’s about understanding and sharing your partner’s feelings, even if you haven’t experienced them yourself. But when one partner is high maintenance, they can often be so consumed with their own needs and wants that they struggle to empathize with their husband’s feelings or situations.
If you find yourself feeling unheard or misunderstood, it’s a sign that your spouse may be lacking empathy and demanding too much. It’s important to remember that every relationship needs a balance of give and take to thrive.
7) Difficulty in handling criticism
This is something I’ve struggled with in my past relationships.
High maintenance women often have a hard time handling criticism, no matter how constructive it may be. Any hint of critique can be met with defensiveness or even a full-blown argument.
In my experience, I once mentioned a minor issue that was bothering me, hoping we could work it out together. However, the reaction I received was far from understanding. Instead, my partner took it as a personal attack and things escalated quickly from there.
A successful relationship requires open communication and the ability to accept and learn from criticism. If every critique becomes a battle, it’s a sign that your spouse might be high maintenance and demanding too much.
8) Overly controlling
Another behaviour often displayed by high maintenance women is being overly controlling. They tend to want to have a say in every decision, big or small, and expect their husbands to comply.
This can range from dictating their husband’s choice of clothes to deciding how they should spend their free time. In some cases, it can even extend to controlling who their husbands can be friends with.
While it’s normal to have opinions and preferences, becoming overly controlling can be suffocating for the other person. A healthy relationship allows both partners to maintain their individuality and make decisions collectively.
If your spouse frequently insists on having things her way without considering your feelings or opinions, she might be demanding too much.
9) Unwilling to compromise
The most telling trait of a high maintenance woman is an unwillingness to compromise.
Compromise forms the bedrock of any successful relationship. It’s about finding a middle ground that satisfies both partners. But high maintenance women often display an all-or-nothing attitude, expecting things to go their way without considering their partner’s feelings or needs.
If you notice your spouse showing a consistent refusal to compromise – whether it’s about deciding on a holiday destination or choosing a movie for date night – it’s a clear sign they might be high maintenance and demanding too much. Remember, a relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
Final thoughts: It’s about balance
In the complex dance of human relationships, balance often plays a central role.
This balance is particularly significant in marriages, where the scales of give and take, compromise and assertion, need and fulfillment, all come into play.
High maintenance women, as we’ve explored, tend to tip these scales towards their own needs and demands. Whether it’s through constant comparisons, unreasonable expectations, or an unwillingness to compromise, these behaviors can strain a relationship to its breaking point.
However, it’s crucial to remember that identifying these traits is not about assigning blame or stigmatizing. Instead, it’s an invitation to introspection and growth – an opportunity to strike a healthier balance in the relationship.
As renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman once said, “Marriages are successful when you allow your partner to influence you.” This influence should be mutual and respectful, not one-sided and demanding.
So if you or your spouse display any of these high maintenance behaviors, consider it as a starting point for change. A step towards a more balanced, respectful, and fulfilling relationship. Remember, the power to change lies within you.