By 
Navigating the dating scene can feel like walking through a minefield. You’re trying to make a connection while also trying to figure out if there are any red flags.
Sometimes, it’s the things a woman says on a date that should have you heading for the hills.
This isn’t about judging or being critical – it’s about recognizing when something isn’t right for you.
Let’s get started.
1) “I hate drama”
It’s a phrase that might seem innocuous, maybe even a positive, at first glance. But experience tells us to be wary.
The truth is, most people don’t enjoy drama. It’s stressful, draining and generally unpleasant. So when someone feels the need to specifically state their aversion to it, it’s worth paying attention.
What they’re often implying is that they’ve had a lot of drama in their past relationships. And while it’s not fair to assume they were the cause, it’s also not unfair to wonder why it seems to follow them around.
The aim here isn’t to judge or criticize, but to protect your peace and wellbeing.
So if she says “I hate drama” on a date, it might be time to lace up your running shoes!
2) “My ex was crazy”
Now, this one takes me back to a date I had a few years ago. We were sitting in a cozy little Italian place, enjoying our pasta when she passionately started sharing stories about her ‘crazy’ ex-boyfriend.
I remember the chill that ran down my spine as I listened. Not because of the horror stories about the ex, but because of the ease and almost glee with which she painted him as a lunatic.
The thing is, we all have our past relationships and not all of them end well. But referring to an ex-partner as ‘crazy’ is not just disrespectful, it’s also an indicator of how she might speak about you in the future.
Moreover, it’s a sign that she might not take responsibility for her part in the failed relationship.
From personal experience, if she describes her ex as ‘crazy’, consider it a red flag and remember: it’s okay to run!
3) “I don’t get along with other women”
When a woman says she doesn’t get along with other women, it’s usually not a good sign. It’s not uncommon for some people to have difficulty connecting with their own gender, but it’s the blanket statement that’s concerning here.
This may indicate a lack of empathy or understanding towards half the world’s population, suggesting potential issues with forming and maintaining relationships.
Psychologists have found that those who struggle to form platonic relationships with the same sex may have deeper underlying issues related to trust or self-esteem.
If she says “I don’t get along with other women”, it could be a sign of larger problems. Don’t ignore it; running might be the best option!
4) “I’m not like other girls”
This phrase is a classic, and it’s one that raises immediate red flags.
It may sound charming or flattering initially – like she’s setting herself apart, making herself unique. But the subtext here is that other women are a monolithic group to be dismissed or looked down upon, and she’s the exception.
This kind of thinking can lead to unhealthy competition, jealousy, and a lack of respect towards other women. It can also indicate low self-esteem or a need for constant validation.
If she’s not comfortable being herself or feels the need to put others down to lift herself up, it might be time to excuse yourself from the date. Don’t stick around waiting for things to get better. Sometimes, the best course of action is to run.
5) “You’re lucky to be with me”
Confidence is attractive, but there’s a fine line between self-assuredness and arrogance. If she says, “You’re lucky to be with me,” it might be a sign of the latter.
This statement implies a power imbalance, suggesting she views herself as a prize to be won or an object of desire above all else. It can also indicate a lack of appreciation for your worth and what you bring to the relationship.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and valuing each other equally. If she’s placing herself on a pedestal at your expense, that’s a red flag. Don’t hesitate to make a dash for the exit.
6) “I don’t believe in apologies”
This one hits close to the heart. The ability to apologize when we’re wrong is a cornerstone of mature, emotional communication. When she says, “I don’t believe in apologies,” it’s a stark indicator that she might not be willing to own up to her mistakes or shortcomings.
In any relationship, disagreements and misunderstandings are inevitable. But it’s how we handle these moments that truly defines the quality and longevity of the relationship.
An unwillingness to apologize can lead to resentment and unresolved conflicts. It’s a sign of a lack of humility and empathy – key ingredients for a healthy relationship.
So if she doesn’t believe in apologies, think twice about your future with her. Sometimes it’s better to run than risk your emotional wellbeing.
7) “I don’t trust easily”
During a date a few years back, I remember hearing these words spoken with such conviction. “I don’t trust easily.” At first, it seemed like a simple statement of fact, perhaps even a sign of caution and wisdom.
But as time went on, those four words began to unravel a relationship fraught with suspicion and insecurity. Trust is fundamental in any relationship. Without it, you’re constantly on shaky ground, always questioning and never quite at peace.
While it’s true that trust needs to be earned, an outright declaration of distrust can be a sign of past baggage that hasn’t been dealt with. If she’s not willing to give trust a chance, you might spend your whole relationship trying to prove your worth.
So if she says, “I don’t trust easily,” consider it a signal to save yourself potential heartache and run.
8) “I’m very independent”
Independence is generally seen as a positive trait, right? It means self-reliance and strength. But sometimes, when a woman says, “I’m very independent,” on a date, it’s not as promising as it sounds.
While it’s essential to maintain your individuality in a relationship, extreme independence can sometimes translate into an unwillingness to compromise or share one’s life with another.
A relationship is about partnership and working together. If she’s more focused on asserting her independence than building a connection with you, it might lead to problems down the line.
So if she places a heavy emphasis on her independence, it could be a sign that she’s not ready for a committed relationship. Remember, it’s okay to run when the signs are there.
9) “I don’t have time for a relationship”
It might seem obvious, but if a woman says, “I don’t have time for a relationship,” on a date, take her at her word. It might be a polite way of letting you down gently, but it could also be a sign of where her priorities lie.
If she’s too busy for a relationship, it means she’s unable or unwilling to make room in her life for you. A successful relationship requires time, effort, and commitment from both parties.
Regardless of how much you like her or how much potential you think the relationship has, it won’t work if she doesn’t have the time or desire to invest in it.
So if she says she doesn’t have time for a relationship, don’t try to change her mind. Respect her choice and save yourself the heartache: run.
10) “I don’t believe in love”
When a woman says, “I don’t believe in love,” it’s a clear signal of her views on relationships and commitment. Love is the foundation of any romantic relationship. If she doesn’t believe in it, then what is she looking for?
This might indicate past hurt or skepticism about the concept of love itself. While it’s okay to have doubts and fears, outright disbelief in love could lead to a lack of emotional depth and commitment in your relationship.
If she doesn’t believe in love, she might not be ready or willing to invest emotionally in a relationship. So if these words are spoken on a date, it might be time to run.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
At the core of all these red flags is one fundamental concept: respect.
Respect for you, respect for herself, and respect for the potential relationship you might share.
If a woman says any of these ten things on a date, it’s not necessarily an indictment of her character, but it could be a warning sign that she may not be ready for a relationship, at least not one that is healthy and mutually respectful.
Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel once said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” And it’s true. We deserve partners who respect us, value us, and are willing to invest in building a fulfilling relationship with us.
So if you find yourself on a date and hear any of these phrases, remember your worth. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to run. Your happiness may depend on it.