By 
In today’s day and age, the term “gentleman” can seem a bit old-fashioned. But, let me tell you, true gentlemen still exist.
A true gentleman isn’t defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit, he’s defined by his manners and the content of his character.
We all have our own idea of what a gentleman is, but here are 10 traits that I believe separate the genuine gentlemen from the fakes.
If someone displays these 10 traits, they’re a true gentleman.
Let’s dive in and see if you, or the man in your life, embodies these gentlemanly traits.
1) Respect for everyone
In my opinion, one of the biggest tell-tale signs of a true gentleman is their respect for all people.
A gentleman doesn’t just respect those who can do something for him, or those who are in positions of authority. He respects everyone, from the CEO to the janitor.
This respect extends to all aspects of interaction. It’s not just about saying “please” and “thank you”, although that’s certainly part of it. It’s about listening when others talk, considering their feelings, and treating them as equals.
This might seem like a basic concept, but it’s remarkable how many people fail to show consistent respect to everyone they meet.
2) Punctuality is a priority
I remember when I had just started dating my now-husband. He would always arrive at least 10 minutes early for our dates. At first, I thought he was just overly eager, but as I got to know him better, I realized it was a sign of his respect for me and my time.
He once told me, “If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re early, you’re on time.” This principle was ingrained in him from a young age and it’s something he’s carried with him throughout his life.
This respect for other people’s time is a hallmark trait of a true gentleman. They understand that everyone’s time is valuable and they make it a point to never keep anyone waiting.
If someone always shows up on time, or better yet, a little early, it’s a good sign they’ve got some gentlemanly qualities.
3) They’re well-groomed
A true gentleman cares about his appearance—not out of vanity, but because they understand the importance of making a good impression. Their clothes are clean, their hair is neat, and they generally look put-together.
There’s an old saying that goes, “clothes make the man,” and there’s some truth to it.
People who dress well are perceived as more competent and successful.
If someone takes the time to present themselves well, it’s another sign they’re a true gentleman.
4) They’re reliable
A true gentleman is someone you can depend on. If they say they’re going to do something, they do it. They don’t make promises lightly, and when they do make a promise, they keep it.
Reliability is about more than just being punctual. It’s about being a person of your word. It’s about being someone that others can trust and depend on.
In a world where flakiness is often the norm, a person who is consistently reliable stands out. So if you know someone who always keeps their word, you might just be in the presence of a true gentleman.
5) They have good manners
Manners go a long way in defining a person’s character, and a gentleman is no exception. They hold the door open, they let others go first, they say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
Good manners aren’t just about following a set of rules, they are an expression of respect and consideration for others. A gentleman understands that showing good manners isn’t about being old-fashioned or stuffy, it’s about making those around him feel valued and comfortable.
If someone always seems to be mindful of their manners, it’s another sign that they’re a true gentleman.
6) They’re empathetic
A true gentleman has a heart for others. They’re not just concerned with their own needs and wants, they genuinely care about the wellbeing of those around them.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing the world from their perspective.
A gentleman uses this empathy to guide his actions and decisions. He’s kind, patient, and understanding. He lends a listening ear when someone needs to talk, and offers a shoulder to lean on when they’re going through a tough time.
If someone shows a deep capacity for empathy, they’re displaying a critical trait of a true gentleman.
7) They’re self-aware
Once upon a time, I struggled with self-awareness. I often found myself blundering through social situations, not realizing how my actions and words were affecting others. It wasn’t until a very patient friend sat me down and explained the importance of self-awareness that I began to understand its value.
A true gentleman is self-aware. They’re conscious of their actions, their words, and how they come across to others. They understand their strengths and weaknesses, and they’re always willing to learn and grow.
Self-awareness is a trait that takes time and effort to develop, but it’s well worth the investment. If someone shows a high level of self-awareness, it’s a good sign they’re a true gentleman.
8) They embrace vulnerability
In a world that often equates masculinity with toughness and stoicism, embracing vulnerability can seem like an anomaly. But a true gentleman understands that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but of strength.
Being vulnerable means being open about feelings and experiences, even when it’s uncomfortable or scary. It means being willing to take risks in relationships, to express love and affection, and to admit when you’re wrong.
So if someone is comfortable expressing vulnerability, don’t mistake it for weakness. It’s actually a sign of courage and authenticity, traits of a true gentleman.
9) They’re respectful of boundaries
A true gentleman understands and respects the concept of personal boundaries. They don’t push or pressure others into doing something they’re uncomfortable with. Instead, they respect the other person’s right to their own space, time, and feelings.
Respecting boundaries isn’t just about physical space, it’s also about emotional and mental boundaries. A gentleman knows that everyone has the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and they never try to control or manipulate these.
If someone always respects your boundaries, and those of others, it’s a strong sign they’re a true gentleman.
10) They’re kind
Above all, a true gentleman is kind. They treat others with kindness not because they want something in return, but simply because it’s the right thing to do.
Their kindness isn’t just reserved for those they know and like. They’re kind to everyone they meet, from their best friend to a stranger on the street.
Kindness is more than just being nice. It’s about showing compassion, understanding, and love.
If someone consistently shows kindness to others, it’s the clearest sign of all that they’re a true gentleman.
In essence: It’s about character
The concept of a gentleman goes far beyond the surface. It’s not about what you wear or how much money you have – it’s about who you are at your core.
Being a gentleman is about embodying respect, reliability, empathy, and kindness. These traits emanate from a person’s character, not just their behavior.
As the English novelist William Makepeace Thackeray once said, “It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.” This speaks volumes about the essence of being a gentleman. It’s about being able to love, respect and treat others with kindness, without expecting anything in return.
So, as we reflect on the traits of a true gentleman, remember that these are attributes that anyone can cultivate. They require intentionality and practice, but they’re within reach for all of us.
Being a gentleman isn’t just about being a better man – it’s about being a better human.