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Manliness isn’t about muscles or the ability to chug a beer. It’s about experiences and character, the stuff that actually shapes us into men. But hey, we’ve all got different ideas of what being a man means, right?
Well, I’m here to drop a bit of a bombshell. There are certain experiences that, if you haven’t had them, might mean you’re not as manly as you think. And these aren’t your typical macho-man milestones either.
Here are the 10 things you need to have experienced to truly call yourself a man. Buckle up, it’s going to be an eye-opener!
1) Handling rejection
Rejection is an inevitable part of life. It can come from any direction – failed job interviews, unrequited love, or even being the last one picked in a schoolyard game.
It’s how we deal with these rejections that truly defines our manliness. The ability to pick yourself up, dust off, and continue forward is a hallmark of maturity and strength.
Sure, we all feel the sting of rejection. It’s only natural. But do you let it define you? Or do you use it as a stepping stone to better things?
If you haven’t experienced rejection and used it as a catalyst for growth, then maybe you’re not as manly as you think. This isn’t about being tough or macho – it’s about resilience and perseverance, two cornerstones of manhood.
Embrace rejection, learn from it, and let it propel you forward. That’s what true manliness is all about.
2) Taking responsibility
Let me tell you a little story. A few years back, I made a mistake at work. A big one. The kind that can make your heart sink and your palms sweaty. I could have easily brushed it under the carpet, blamed someone else, or just pretended it didn’t happen.
But that’s not what being a man is about.
So, I walked into my boss’s office and confessed to the error. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most important. It wasn’t just about owning up to my mistake – it was about taking responsibility for my actions.
Taking responsibility is tough. It’s tempting to shift blame or avoid dealing with the consequences of our actions. But doing so is a necessary part of manhood.
If you’ve never taken responsibility for a screw-up or faced the music head-on, then you might not be as manly as you think. Because being a man means standing up and owning your actions, good or bad.
3) Living independently
Did you know that, according to a study conducted by Pew Research Center, as of 2016, 15% of Millennial men (ages 25-31) were living at home with their parents? This is a higher percentage than any previous generation.
Living independently doesn’t necessarily mean having your own house. It’s about being able to take care of yourself and not relying on others for basic needs. It’s about managing your finances, cooking your meals, cleaning your space, and generally just being responsible for your own life.
Manliness is about self-sufficiency. If you haven’t experienced the trials and tribulations of independent life – from dealing with a broken boiler to figuring out how to iron a shirt – then maybe you’re not as manly as you think.
Embrace the challenges of independent living. It’s not always easy, but it brings a sense of accomplishment that’s hard to match.
4) Overcoming a fear
We all have fears. Heights, spiders, public speaking, you name it. And there’s no shame in that. But being a man means having the courage to face these fears head-on.
Overcoming a fear isn’t just about proving to yourself that you can do it. It’s about growth, resilience, and stepping outside of your comfort zone. It’s about not letting fear control your life.
If you haven’t faced down a fear – whether it’s asking someone out on a date, giving a presentation in front of a large crowd, or bungee jumping off a bridge – then maybe you’re not as manly as you think.
Remember, being brave isn’t about not having fears. It’s about having fears and choosing to confront them anyway.
5) Showing vulnerability
Contrary to what society might have you believe, being a man isn’t about being invincible. It’s about being human, which means being vulnerable.
Showing vulnerability could mean opening up about your feelings, admitting when you’re hurt, or asking for help when you need it. These are not signs of weakness. In fact, they require more strength than putting on a tough facade.
If you haven’t experienced the liberating feeling of showing vulnerability, then maybe you’re not as manly as you think.
Remember, it’s okay to not always be okay. Embrace your vulnerability – it’s a sign of true strength and courage.
6) Experiencing deep love
There’s a certain kind of love that goes beyond the surface level feelings of infatuation or lust. It’s a profound, soul-stirring kind of love that changes you and shapes you. It’s the kind of love that teaches you about empathy, patience, and selflessness.
If you’ve never experienced this depth of love – whether it’s for a partner, a family member, or even a pet – then maybe you’re not as manly as you think.
Being a man means having the capacity to love deeply and unconditionally. It’s about opening your heart fully, even if it means risking getting hurt.
Deep love teaches us many lessons and experiencing it is a rite of passage into true manhood. It’s not just about feeling good, it’s about growing as a person and learning to appreciate the nuances of human connection.
7) Failing and trying again
I’ll never forget the day I started my own business. It was a thrilling and terrifying experience, filled with high hopes and big dreams. But within a year, it failed. I was devastated, embarrassed, and felt like a complete loser.
But you know what? I didn’t give up. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and tried again. And although it was tough, it was also incredibly rewarding.
If you’ve never experienced the crushing blow of failure, only to rise again and give it another shot, then maybe you’re not as manly as you think.
Because being a man isn’t about never failing. It’s about failing and having the courage to try again. It’s about determination, resilience, and strength of character. And those are traits that no failure can take away from you.
8) Embracing your softer side
Who said crying, enjoying a romantic movie or nurturing a child aren’t manly? Society often wrongly equates manliness with being hard, tough, and unemotional. But true manliness goes beyond these clichés.
If you’ve never allowed yourself to embrace your softer side – maybe by crying openly when you’re hurt, admitting that you love “The Notebook”, or taking care of a child – then perhaps you’re not as manly as you think.
Being a man means being comfortable with all aspects of your personality, not just those that fit into the traditional mold. It means being able to express your emotions openly and honestly without fear of judgment.
It’s time to redefine what being a man means. Embrace your softer side. It doesn’t make you less of a man, in fact, it makes you more!
9) Standing up for what’s right
Sometimes, life puts us in situations where we see something wrong happening around us. In these moments, it’s easy to look the other way and maintain the status quo. But that’s not what being a man is about.
If you’ve never stood up for what’s right, even when it was uncomfortable or risky, then you might not be as manly as you think.
Being a man means having the courage to speak out against injustice, even if you stand alone. It’s about integrity and doing the right thing, even when it’s not the easy thing.
Remember, silence in the face of injustice is complicity. Stand up, speak out, and make a difference. That’s what it means to be a man.
10) Knowing who you are
The journey of manliness ultimately leads to one destination – self-discovery. If you haven’t embarked on the quest of truly understanding and accepting yourself, quirks and all, then perhaps you’re not as manly as you think.
Being a man means being comfortable in your own skin, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and not letting societal expectations dictate your worth. It’s about defining your own values, standing by them, and being true to yourself.
So go ahead, embark on the journey of self-discovery. Because the day you truly know yourself is the day you become a real man.
Final reflection: Defining your manliness
The journey to manliness is deeply personal and varies from person to person. It’s not about ticking boxes or meeting societal expectations. Instead, it’s about personal growth, resilience, vulnerability, and self-awareness.
The experiences listed in this article are merely suggestions, not prerequisites. It’s important to remember that you have the power to define what being a man means to you.
A quote by American author Robert A. Heinlein perfectly captures this sentiment. He said, “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, con a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
So whether you’ve experienced all 10 things on this list or none at all doesn’t necessarily define your manliness. Your manliness is defined by who you are as an individual and the values you uphold.
Ultimately, manliness is about integrity and authenticity. It’s about being true to yourself and standing firm in your convictions. So go ahead and define your own path of manliness. After all, it’s your journey.