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Being a real gentleman isn’t about a suit or an accent but your values and actions.
If you aim to stand out and exude class, respect, and integrity (which you should), it’s time to shed some old habits.
You probably know some of these already, but it never hurts to be reminded.
Let’s dive in.
1. Constantly checking your phone
“It is okay to own a technology, what is not okay is to be owned by technology.”
Abhijit Naskar, Neuroscientist & Bestselling Author
In today’s digital age, the smartphone has become a constant companion, and while it’s a valuable tool, the habit of being glued to your phone during social situations is one you must ditch.
When you’re engrossed in your device while in the company of others, it sends a message that they’re less important than whatever is happening on your screen.
It’s a behavior that can lead to feelings of neglect and frustration among your friends, family, or colleagues.
Instead, be present in the moment. When you’re with others, make a conscious effort to engage with them, not just your phone.
Put it away, keep it on silent, or activate the “Do Not Disturb” mode. Better yet, foster the habit of digital minimalism.
By doing so, you’ll have better connections, more meaningful conversations, and more genuine interactions.
2. Using disrespectful language
Real gentlemen understand the power of words.
Using language that belittles or offends others not only tarnishes your image but also diminishes your ability to connect on a meaningful level.
It’s time to bid farewell to disrespectful language, including derogatory slurs and offensive jokes.
Instead, practice kindness, empathy, and respect in your words. Treat everyone with the dignity they deserve, and you’ll find that your relationships and reputation will flourish.
3. Making “look at me” social media posts
“Freedom on the inside comes when validation from the outside doesn’t matter.”
Richie Norton, Best-selling author & Entrepreneur
In an era where social media dominates our lives, it’s time to bid farewell to the “Look at Me” obsession that often comes with it.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing updates and photos occasionally, but constantly seeking validation and attention through likes, comments, and followers can lead to an unhealthy dependence on external validation.
And frankly, no one wants to see your gym selfie day-in-day out.
Instead, shift your focus from collecting digital likes to cultivating genuine connections in the real world.
By letting go of the constant need for online approval, you’ll find that your social interactions become more authentic and fulfilling.
It’s a behavior that defines a true gentleman who values real relationships over digital facades and understands that the most meaningful connections happen offline.
4. Tardiness
There’s something undeniably gentlemanly about being on time.
A true gentleman never leaves someone sitting alone at the restaurant, twiddling their thumbs, wondering if you’ll show up.
I learned the hard way as a younger man. My lack of respect for time caused opportunities to be lost and relationships to be sabotaged before they really began. I now realize being late is a sure sign of immaturity.
Make punctuality a priority. Whether it’s a meeting, a date, or a casual get-together with friends, be there when you say you will.
It’s a simple gesture that speaks volumes about your reliability and respect for others’ time.
5. Gossiping and spreading rumors
“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
Gossiping and spreading rumors may seem like harmless pastimes, but if you want to be a true gentleman, you know better.
When you engage in gossip or share unfounded rumors, you not only damage your own credibility but also harm the reputations and feelings of others.
It’s a behavior that creates a negative atmosphere and erodes trust among your social circles.
Instead, be the guy who promotes positivity and respect. When you find yourself tempted to gossip, shift the conversation to something more constructive or uplifting.
By doing so, you’ll become known as someone who can be trusted and relied upon, and you’ll foster an environment of trust and respect among your peers.
6. The one-upping habit
Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all been guilty of trying to outdo others with our stories and accomplishments.
Men are naturally competitive, but this kind of habit can make us look childish and insecure.
Constantly striving to one-up everyone you meet is a habit that needs to be kicked to the curb.
A true gentleman doesn’t need to constantly prove himself. Instead, he listens, learns, and appreciates the unique qualities and experiences of those around him.
One-upping not only alienates people but also robs you of meaningful connections and valuable insights. So, let go of the need to be the alpha in every conversation.
Embrace humility, be genuinely interested in others, and watch how your relationships deepen and flourish without the constant need to assert your superiority.
7. Having a “me-first” mentality
If you want to be a genuine gentleman, it’s high time to bid adieu to the “me-first” mentality.
You know the one – always looking out for number one without considering the needs and feelings of others.
Being a true gentleman means putting others before yourself at times. It doesn’t mean neglecting your own needs, but it does require empathy and a willingness to lend a helping hand when it’s needed most.
So, drop the self-centered attitude and embrace the power of generosity and selflessness.
Whether it’s helping a friend move, volunteering your time, or simply being there to support someone in their time of need, these actions define the character of a real gentleman.
In a world often consumed by individualism, your willingness to think beyond yourself will make you a standout and truly admired by those who have the privilege of knowing you.
8. Ghosting
Ghosting, for those who may not be familiar, involves abruptly cutting off communication with someone without explanation or closure. Understandably, it’s a behavior that leaves people feeling hurt, confused, and disrespected.
In today’s digital age, it has become an unfortunately common behavior, especially in the realm of dating and friendships.
But it’s weak and pathetic: if you want to be a true gentleman, it’s time to put an end to this unkind practice.
Instead, be the guy who communicates honestly and respectfully.
If you’re not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship or maintaining a friendship, a simple message explaining your feelings goes a long way. It shows maturity, empathy, and consideration for the other person’s emotions.
By bidding farewell to the “ghosting” habit, you not only preserve your reputation but also leave a positive impact on those you encounter.
It’s a behavior that demonstrates respect for others and sets you apart as a true gentleman in a world where common courtesy can sometimes be hard to find.
The bottom line
And there you have it, gents. To become a real gentleman, you must bid farewell to these eight behaviors.
By letting go of disrespect, selfishness, and other behaviors we’ve discussed, you’ll also positively impact the people and world around you.
If you’re hungry for more advice on becoming a better man, we’ve got you covered: