By 
There’s a huge difference between merely liking a woman and truly understanding her.
Understanding requires more than just love. It needs time, patience, and the right questions.
Marrying a woman before you can truthfully answer these 9 questions can lead you into a relationship that you’re not prepared for.
This is not about questioning your love, but about ensuring you’re ready for a lifelong commitment. Here are the 9 questions you must be able to answer before taking the plunge into marriage.
Stay tuned, as these questions could save you from heartache and lead to a blissful married life.
1) Do you understand her love language?
Understanding your partner’s love language is crucial in any relationship, and even more so in marriage.
Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book “The 5 Love Languages”, explains that everyone has a specific way they prefer to receive love. Some value words of affirmation, others physical touch, while some prioritize acts of service, receiving gifts, or quality time.
When you speak your partner’s love language, you communicate your love more effectively. However, if you don’t understand it, you might be expressing love in ways that she doesn’t value as much.
So before you marry a woman, make sure you can truthfully answer this question: Do you understand her love language?
Recognizing and understanding how she needs to be loved will help you communicate better and nurture a more fulfilling relationship.
2) Can you handle her at her worst?
Every person has moments when they’re not at their best. And in marriage, you’re signing up to be there through thick and thin.
I remember a time when my wife was going through a tough period at work. She was stressed, irritable, and just not herself. It would have been easy for me to retreat, to complain, or to decide that this wasn’t what I’d signed up for.
But I remembered asking myself before we got married, can I handle her at her worst? The answer was a resounding yes.
So in those challenging times, I chose understanding over frustration. I stood by her, offering support instead of criticism. And when things got better, our bond was even stronger.
Before you marry a woman, make sure you can truthfully answer this question. Can you handle her at her worst? It’s easy to love someone at their best. But marriage is about being there for each other even in the toughest times.
3) Are your financial goals aligned?
Money matters, whether we like it or not. And financial disagreements are one of the main causes of marital strife.
Different spending habits, conflicting financial goals, or disagreements on how to manage debt can cause serious tension in a marriage.
Interestingly, a study conducted by Kansas State University found that arguing about money is the top predictor of divorce.
Before you decide to marry a woman, it’s crucial to have an open and honest discussion about finances. Understand each other’s financial habits, goals, and expectations.
So ask yourself, are our financial goals aligned? The answer to this question can significantly influence the harmony and success of your marriage.
4) Are you comfortable discussing tough topics?
Communication is key in any relationship, and it becomes even more essential in marriage. It’s not just about discussing your day or sharing funny anecdotes. It’s about having the ability to talk about the tough stuff too.
Issues like finances, intimacy, family planning, or future goals need to be discussed openly and honestly. These conversations may be difficult, but they are necessary to avoid misunderstandings and to ensure both of you are on the same page.
Before saying ‘I do’, ask yourself: Am I comfortable discussing tough topics with her? If the answer is no, you might need to work on your communication skills or reevaluate your relationship before making a lifelong commitment.
5) Do you both want the same things in life?
Life goals and aspirations are an essential part of who we are. And when you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, it’s crucial that your life goals align.
Imagine one of you dreams of settling down and having a family, while the other aspires to travel the world and live a nomadic lifestyle. This kind of fundamental mismatch can lead to serious conflicts down the line.
So, before you propose, ask yourself: Do we both want the same things in life? It’s important to have this conversation early on to ensure that you both envision a similar future together.
6) Are you willing to grow together?
Marriage isn’t just about the love and passion you share in the present. It’s about the journey you’re committing to embark on together, a journey of growth and learning.
In marriage, both of you will change and evolve over time. There will be challenges that will test you, experiences that will shape you, and milestones that will transform you.
It’s not just about growing old together, but growing together. Are you ready to support her growth, and equally important, is she ready to support yours?
So, before making the commitment, ask yourself: Am I willing to grow together with her? This question goes beyond immediate feelings and dives deep into your willingness to evolve together in the long run.
7) Do you truly respect her?
Respect is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. It’s about valuing each other’s opinions, acknowledging each other’s feelings, and appreciating each other’s individuality.
I once found myself in a relationship where I realized that I didn’t truly respect my partner. I loved her, yes, but I didn’t value her opinions as much as I should have. It was a painful realization and one that led me to understand the importance of respect in a relationship.
So before getting married, ask yourself: Do I truly respect her? If you can’t answer this question with a confident yes, you might need to reconsider your readiness for marriage.
8) Can you compromise?
Marriage is all about teamwork and collaboration. For a successful partnership, both parties must be willing to compromise from time to time.
Whether it’s deciding on your next holiday destination, determining how to manage household chores, or resolving a disagreement, being able to reach a mutually satisfying solution is crucial.
So before tying the knot, ask yourself: Am I willing and able to compromise? The ability to set aside your wants for the needs or wants of your partner is an essential aspect of a healthy, balanced marriage.
9) Is she your best friend?
Above all, the woman you marry should be your best friend. This is the person you’ll share your life with, your joys and sorrows, your victories and defeats.
Your wife should be someone you can confide in, someone who understands you, and someone who accepts you for who you are.
So the final, and perhaps the most crucial question to ask yourself before marrying a woman is: Is she truly my best friend?
Remember, a strong friendship forms the foundation of a successful marriage.
Final reflections: It’s about companionship
The essence of marriage often boils down to companionship. It’s about finding that person you want to share your life’s journey with, someone who understands and accepts you, someone who’s your best friend.
The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” These words underscore the significance of friendship in a marriage.
When you’re considering marrying a woman, remember that it’s not just about love and passion. It’s about companionship, respect, understanding, and growing together.
These nine questions are not mere checkboxes to be ticked off but reflections to help you understand the depth and breadth of the commitment you’re about to make.
Remember, a successful marriage is not about finding the perfect person. It’s about loving an imperfect person perfectly.
As you reflect on these questions, remember that marriage is a journey filled with love, joy, challenges, and growth. And the woman you choose to take this journey with should be someone you’re willing to grow with, both as an individual and as a couple.