“Should I break up with my girlfriend if I’m not attracted to her?” 5 things to consider

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If you’re not physically attracted to your girlfriend, it can be a tough situation to navigate.

On one hand, you care about her and value your relationship.

On the other hand, physical attraction is an important component of any romantic relationship.

So, what should you do?

Before you make any hasty decisions, it’s important to consider all of your options.

Here are 7 things to consider when deciding whether to break up with your girlfriend because of a lack of physical attraction:

1) Why aren’t you attracted to her anymore?

Before breaking up with your girlfriend, it is important to first understand the reasons behind your lack of attraction.

Take some time to reflect on why you are no longer attracted to your partner.

There may be underlying issues in the relationship that are contributing to your lack of attraction, such as a lack of emotional connection or a lack of effort to maintain the relationship.

It may be helpful to try to identify these issues and consider whether or not they can be resolved.

If they can, great!

If they can’t, then it is possible that the best way forward is to break up with her.

But always remember that most problems in a relationship can be solved.

For example, if you feel that you have grown apart emotionally, you might be able to rekindle your emotional connection by spending more quality time together and engaging in activities that you both enjoy.

If you feel that your partner is not making an effort to maintain the relationship, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about your needs and to set some goals for the future of the relationship.

I’ve been in a long-term relationship for over 5 years and whenever we feel like our relationship is becoming stale, we make sure to have an open and honest discussion.

We talk about what we can do to make our relationship more exciting. We also set goals and things we want to achieve together.

While your version of this may be different, having an honest discussion about ways to improve the relationship can help set a fire under the relationship and make it more fun and exciting.

It might not even be a discussion about the relationship. It could simply be a discussion about your lives and what you want to achieve.

By understanding each other’s goals and aspirations, you can support and encourage each other and can work together to find ways to achieve their shared and individual goals.

This can helps build a stronger bond and a greater sense of teamwork and partnership within the relationship, which might be what your relationship needs to ignite the physical attraction again.

2) Define attraction.

What is it to be attracted to someone?

Before you come up with a verdict on whether to break up or carry on in the relationship, define attraction first.

Think about the magnetic force that binds you in the past.

You may have started a relationship with her because of her intellectual capabilities, or perhaps you started off because you were attracted to her passion.

There are many ways you can get attracted to a person.

Believe it or not, it’s not always the physical aspect that is most important when it comes to attraction.

Although physical attraction matters when it comes to intimacy or sex, there are still many attributes and qualities of a girl that we find attractive.

As I mentioned, I have been in a relationship for over 5 years, and we both simply find time and exert effort to keep things interesting.

What attracted me when we first hit it off isn’t exactly the same as what I’m attracted to at this point in our relationship.

She was really cool and outgoing during the first years of our relationship.

Right now, she’s still cool and outgoing but I’m also attracted to the passion and drive she has for her career.

Am I still physically attracted to her?

Yes, but I can also say that if my physical attraction for her waned I would still love her and fully commit to the relationship.

I genuinely understand that love is about more than just the physical.

So to make it short, define your basis for attraction.

If you’re no longer physically attracted to her, it doesn’t always have to lead to a breakup because there might be other things that may have attracted you to her, that perhaps you could focus on.

3) Are you NOT attracted or NO LONGER attracted?

If I were you, I wouldn’t jump into a final judgment right away. Attractiveness varies, it may also fade, and sometimes it may even be reignited.

There are many factors that can affect physical attraction, including changes in appearance, changes in personal habits and grooming, changes in health, and changes in life circumstances.


Feelings of physical attraction can be influenced by a variety of emotional, psychological, and social factors, such as the level of intimacy and emotional connection in the relationship, the level of effort put into maintaining the relationship, and external stressors and distractions.

It is entirely possible that your physical attraction for her will be reignited at some point in the future.

In fact, if you’ve been physically attracted to her in the past, then it’s probably likely.

Take it from me:

I’ve been in a long-term relationship for over 5 years and I can say with absolute certainty that I’ve been through phases of being extremely physically attracted to my girlfriend and at other times, not so much.

It’s normal for physical attraction to ebb and flow over the course of a long-term relationship

Now if you’re absolutely certain that you will never be attracted to her again, then it might be time for an open and honest discussion with your girl.

But if you feel like it’s possible that this is just a phase, then it’s probably worth it to give it more time.

4) Consider your reasons for staying even without attraction.

Commitment is a very complicated topic that men don’t really dwell much on.

When we commit, we just commit.

Although there are instances that we do think about it. Consider your reasons for staying even without attraction.

Attraction isn’t always constant.

It’s something that comes and goes.

Sure, there are other men that would say “I’m still in love with the same blue eyes that looked at me with love when I was 18”.

But real in-depth attraction goes way beyond what’s in the physical aspect.

Consider other reasons when the initial reasons are gone.

People are bound to change so you can’t expect your partner to be attractive in the same way as when you first met.

This happens most especially in long-term relationships.

I have friends who’ve been married for years and seen so many changes in their partners but still find them attractive.

It’s also impossible to only be attracted in 1 aspect so if something about her is gone, then maybe you can look at the other attractive aspects of her that are still there.

In reference to number 2, you should also consider if you’re NO LONGER attracted or simply NOT attracted to begin with.

5) Give your relationship a review.

Before you give up on your relationship simply because you’re not attracted anymore, review your relationship for the past couple of months.

What are your reasons for staying? It’s not always about physical attraction or any kind of attraction.

Ask yourself about your reasons for committing to a relationship.

So the next time you ask if you should break up with your girlfriend if you’re not attracted to her, always look for other things that make you willing to commit before deciding on it.

Perhaps it’s also good to talk about it. As the old saying goes, communication is the key to a thriving relationship.

Run through what happened for the past years, because your experiences together can be attractive in itself.

You can also try going back to each point in this article and review if it’s really still worth staying even without attraction or if you’re simply blind to what kind of attraction you’re looking for in a relationship.

In Conclusion

Deciding whether or not to break up with a partner is a very personal decision that can be influenced by a wide range of factors.

If you are no longer attracted to your girlfriend, it is important to first try to understand the reasons behind your lack of attraction and to consider whether or not these issues can be resolved.

It may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and to seek the advice of a therapist or counselor.

Ultimately, the decision to break up should be based on what is best for you and your overall well-being.

If you have tried to work through your issues and have been unable to regain your attraction to your partner, or if you feel that the relationship is no longer fulfilling or healthy for you, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.

It is important to be honest and respectful when ending a relationship and to consider the feelings of your partner.