Do you think a girl is leading you on over text? She replies back to you and acts kind of interested, but you never meet and nothing happens between the two of you.
I’ve been in that position plenty of times before.
I remember when I was 21 I would chat with a girl over text every weekend. I reckon we had 100s or even 1000s of text messages between us.
Despite the time spent sending text after text, I rarely met her and nothing happened between the two of us.
In hindsight, she was undoubtedly leading me on.
It sucks, but it’s better to know when a girl is leading you over text so you can avoid wasting your time as I did.
So let’s go over the signs that a girl is leading you on over text, and then we’ll talk about what you can do about it.
1. She is extremely flakey when it comes to meeting in real life
Have you tried to organize meetings with her? Or maybe you were about to meet, but she flaked out at the last minute?
In the end, if you’ve been chatting with her for a while and she’s flakey on meeting up, then there is a high chance she is leading you on over text.
Even worse, she knows that you are interested in her, so she may be stringing you along for attention or for fun (and to keep you as backup).
If a girl is genuinely interested in you, she will want to meet up with you. There are no ifs and buts about it.
If you’re even chatting to her for a while, and you want to test it out, then man up and ask her out.
Keep it casual and don’t put too much pressure on her. If she gives you a hard no, then she is probably leading you on.
2. She’s hot and cold with her texting game
Do you find that she is very responsive sometimes, but goes completely cold the next?
Girls that have led me on over text in the past are very inconsistent.
One minute she is giving me a lot of attention, and the other she is totally ignoring me. I suspect that the leading on over text was for her personal entertainment.
This game can go on for weeks and months before you figure out what’s actually going on. It’s a real pain, let me tell you.
So if you don’t hear from her for weeks, but then one Saturday night she is texting you constantly, but then goes cold the next day, there is a high likelihood she is leading you on.
3. She only replies to your texts; she never messages you first
Do you text first, or does she message you first?
This shows where her motivation level is at.
She doesn’t really care to make an effort with you, but she probably replies back because she wants to keep you around “just in case”.
This is clear that you’re the one that is interested in her, rather than the other way around.
So if you’re doing all the texting and talking, there is a high likelihood she is leading you on.
She has put in zero effort to do anything with you and doesn’t seem very interested.
4. She doesn’t make an effort with her replies
If she is just giving you one-word answers and doesn’t put much effort into crafting replies, then there is a high likelihood that she is leading you on.
She’s not heavily invested in your communication and she’s not invested in getting to know you.
Her replies are cold and lack passion.
I’ve been here many times before.
It sucks, but I can say from experience that when it comes to girls that only reply with single-word answers, they are probably leading you on.
5. She doesn’t try to banter or flirt
Similar to above, if she’s not making an effort to be fun and flirtatious, there is a high likelihood that she is not genuinely interested.
Now some girls probably don’t know how to flirt, but even so, if she likes you she will at least laugh at your messages or she will try to make herself somewhat interesting.
If she doesn’t even do that, then it’s likely she is leading you on.
Her lack of effort shows that she’s probably replying back to “keep you around” but that’s about all.
It’s a bit mean I know, but if you’re genuinely interested in her, then try and push her more by asking her more questions or asking her to reveal something about herself while also revealing yourself.
Developing a genuine rapport is vital to getting anywhere with a girl. If you’re having a one-way, one-sided conversation, she is probably just leading you on.
Don’t sit around, waiting for her to change. She won’t change if you don’t actively push her the right way with your conversation topics and make the effort to get to know her more in-depth.
6. She never asks you personal questions
If she was genuinely into you, she would want to get to know you. But if doesn’t really care about who you are, there is a high likelihood she is leading you on.
It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to online or offline, if there isn’t any genuine substance in the conversation it shows that she’s not interested in getting to know you.
She might be keeping you around as an option, but she doesn’t really want to know you.
I’ve felt this way many times so I know exactly how you feel when it comes to girls that only reply with one-word answers or when they don’t make an effort to get to know me.
It sucks, but once again, it’s better to be aware of what’s going on so you can stop wasting your time.
You might feel like you blew it with a girl, but it’s better to know so you can move on quickly.
7. She’s only interested in getting some attention
She might be the kind of girl who likes guys messaging her because it gives her an ego boost. This is why she leads you on.
This is especially the case if she sends you photos and you always respond by telling her how beautiful she looks.
It’s clear that probably enjoys these compliments from you, but she doesn’t have any interest in taking it further.
She’s only interested in attention and she likes the feeling of being wanted by a guy.
Again, if you really want to test this out, ask her out. If she continually says no, then you probably should realize that she is leading you on over text.
8. She seems more interested in your connections
If it feels like she is using you for your connections, or your status, then there is a high likelihood that she’s leading you on.
For example, if she keeps asking you about your friend who works at a marketing at a company she wants a job at, then she’s obviously only interested in that connection you have rather than you as a man.
If she keeps asking you if you have any connections at a specific company, then it shows that she’s only interested in your connections rather than taking the time to get to know you.
Of course, a big red flag would be if she asks you for money because of “insert excuse”.
Always ask yourself, “Why is she so interested in a particular part of your life?” If she’s using you then you’ll want to stop texting her pretty damn quick.
9. She doesn’t have a profile
This is for the guys who are texting a girl on a dating app or online dating site.
The most obvious red flag for a girl not being interested in you is if she doesn’t have a profile.
If you’re messaging her, she should then make an effort to make her profile so you can see more of what she looks like.
It’s kind of creepy if they don’t want to show themselves.
You should be ultra skeptical if she won’t reveal how she looks. It’s weird, and it probably shows she’s not serious about meeting you in real life. She’s toying with you, and the fact that she doesn’t have an obvious profile at all is a red flag. .
10. She never uses cute and sexy emojis
If she’s not using cute and sexy emojis, then she’s probably leading you on.
Women love using emojis. They’re more expressive than men and they want to show their emotions.
If she isn’t doing this, then it doesn’t mean she’s a robot, but it does show that her communication is pretty unemotional and flat.
Look, maybe it’s her personality, but in my experience, girls that have actually liked me have used emojis to express their emotions.
11. There’s no consistency in her communication
If she isn’t consistent, it means that she’s not serious about meeting you and that she’s just playing around.
This will come across pretty quickly in your conversations if she’s not consistent.
This might mean she is seeing other guys, and she is only responsive to you when it suits her.
For example, she might be bored on a Saturday night so she is texting you, but every other night of the week, she has someone else to entertain her.
In other words, she is just keeping you around as a source of entertainment.
When I say “consistent”, I mean the same way in all of the messages you send her. This is a bit like “the hot and cold” sign above.
The bottom line is this:
If she’s inconsistent, hot and cold, yin then yang, then she probably doesn’t genuinely like you.
12. You know for a fact she is dating other guys
If you know she is going on dates with other guys, but she rarely takes the time to meet up with you, then that’s a red flag.
She’s probably texting you for some attention and entertainment, but when her real interests like elsewhere.
If you really do know for a fact she is dating other guys, then my advice is to stop texting her.
It’s a waste of time because she is obviously prioritizing other guys over you.
13. She talks about dating other guys
This one might be less about leading you on and more about “friend-zoning you”.
Girls that are actually into you don’t talk about other guys they’re dating. They don’t want you to think they’re with other guys.
14. She’s always making excuses
If she’s always making excuses and not answering a question, then it means she probably doesn’t like you.
And if she doesn’t like you, then there is no point in trying to make the connection happen.
It’s not worth it because, at the end of the day, your time is more valuable.
What to do when a girl is leading you on
It certainly sucks to find out that a girl is leading you on, but unfortunately it’s part and parcel of being a man.
Men and women play games when it comes to dating.
If you find you’re getting very little in return for your texting relationship with this girl, it’s likely that she is just trying to keep you around as a backup option in case something better doesn’t come along.
Here are some tips to deal with it:
1. Flip the script
It might be time to flip the script a bit. If you ask her out and she says no, then tell her that you see no point in texting her anymore.
If she texts you, don’t respond for a while and see how she reacts.
Don’t be so available. It’s time to show her that you have other things going on with your life.
The truth is, if she if leading you on, then she likely has the power of you.
It’s time to get some of that back by being a little more distant and less available. Play it cool.
2. Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them.
When you start spending a lot of time with a girl who is leading you on, you’ll find that it’s very easy to get caught up in her web.
You may want to spend even more time with her, share your feelings with her, or even take the relationship to the next level.
However, you should set some boundaries for yourself and try to stick to them no matter how much she encourages you to cross them.
Again, play it cool and if she’s not willing to meet you in real life, then stop texting her for a while.
3. Change the way you communicate with her.
You may be used to the way you communicate with this girl, but if you want to avoid her leading you on, you’ll have to change the way you talk to her.
If you’re currently flirting with her a lot, teasing her, or even getting sexual with her, you’ll have to stop doing that if she’s not returning the favor.
If you’re currently being overly nice to her, giving her lots of compliments, or spending lots of time with her, you’ll have to scale that back.
If you’re currently spending lots of time alone with her, you’ll have to change that. In order to avoid getting caught in her trap, change the way you communicate with her.
Try to have some value about yourself. Flip the script. If she continues to lead you on, then it might be time to call it a day and move onto the next girl.