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The difference between a good relationship and a great one often comes down to effort, the kind both people choose to put in because they want to, not because they have to.
No list can guarantee a relationship will last, and none of these things should be a checklist for grading your partner. Every point below has to go both ways. A healthy relationship is two people investing in each other.
With that said, here are 10 things that, if you’re both willing to do them, suggest your relationship is on solid ground.
1) Respecting each other’s personal space
Everyone needs some time to themselves, even in the closest relationships. Time for hobbies, friends or simply switching off helps people recharge and come back to the relationship with more to give.
In a healthy partnership, asking for alone time isn’t taken as rejection. And the person asking makes sure their partner still feels valued.
Try this: Talk openly about how much together time and alone time each of you needs. Something like, “I love our evenings, but I need one night a week to myself” is a fair thing to say, and to hear.
2) Supporting each other’s dreams
When one of you wants to change careers, start something new or take a risk, having a partner who believes in you can make a real difference.
Support doesn’t mean agreeing with every plan. It means taking each other’s goals seriously, asking good questions and cheering each other on.
Try this: Ask each other every so often, “What are you working toward right now, and how can I help?” Then follow up.
3) Appreciating the little things
Grand gestures are lovely, but relationships are built on small, everyday moments: making a cup of tea after a long day, noticing when something’s off, saying thank you for ordinary things.
Feeling appreciated is one of the simplest ways to feel loved. It’s widely understood that expressing gratitude regularly helps people feel closer.
Try this: Make a habit of naming one specific thing you appreciated about your partner each day. “Thanks for sorting dinner, it really helped” takes seconds and means a lot.
4) Communicating openly
Good communication means sharing feelings, thoughts and concerns honestly, and listening properly when your partner does the same.
When both people are willing to talk things through, small issues get resolved before they grow. Neither of you has to guess or read minds.
Try this: If something is bothering you, raise it early and calmly: “Can we talk about something that’s been on my mind?” And when your partner raises something, try listening fully before responding.
5) Being each other’s biggest cheerleaders
Life has ups and downs. Having someone who celebrates your wins and encourages you through setbacks can boost confidence and motivation.
In a healthy relationship, this goes both ways. Neither person feels they’re competing with the other, and each is genuinely glad when the other succeeds.
Try this: Celebrate small wins, not just big ones. A simple “I’m really proud of you” goes further than you might think.
6) Accepting each other as you are
Being loved for who you truly are, quirks and flaws included, is one of the best things a relationship can offer.
Acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring behavior that genuinely hurts. It means neither of you is trying to mold the other into an ideal. You both feel free to be yourselves without fear of judgment.
Try this: Notice whether your requests are about specific behaviors (“Could you text if you’ll be late?”) or about who the other person is (“You’re so thoughtless”). The first is healthy. The second is worth letting go of.
7) Standing by each other in tough times
Most people face hard stretches at some point, like losing a job, a family crisis or a period of real uncertainty. These moments test a relationship.
When both partners treat hardship as something to face together rather than something that pulls them apart, the relationship often comes out stronger.
Try this: When your partner is struggling, ask what would actually help rather than assuming. Sometimes it’s practical help, sometimes just company. And it’s okay to lean on friends, family or a counsellor too. One partner doesn’t have to carry everything.
8) Challenging each other respectfully
A strong relationship isn’t just comfort and agreement. Sometimes growth comes from a partner who offers a different perspective or gently questions your thinking.
The key word is respectfully. Healthy challenge comes from care, not control, and both people are free to disagree without it becoming a fight.
Try this: Frame challenges as curiosity: “I see it a bit differently, can I share why?” And when you’re the one being challenged, try to hear it as care rather than criticism.
If “challenging” ever tips into constant criticism, pressure or making someone feel small, that’s worth taking seriously, and it’s reasonable to seek outside support.
9) Bringing out the best in each other
The best relationships tend to make both people better, not by forcing change, but because being around each other naturally inspires kindness, patience and growth.
You might find yourself wanting to be more thoughtful or more generous, simply because of the example your partner sets, and vice versa.
Try this: Reflect on how you’ve each grown since being together. Sharing that with each other can be a meaningful conversation.
10) Being best friends
Many of the strongest relationships are rooted in friendship. You trust each other with fears and hopes, laugh together and feel completely at ease being yourselves.
Friendship is what carries a relationship through the ordinary days, which make up most of life.
Try this: Keep doing the things friends do: try new activities, share inside jokes, ask about each other’s day and actually listen to the answer.
Final thoughts: love is a choice
At its heart, a lasting relationship is a series of choices. Every day, you each choose to invest in the other.
Remember that these qualities apply to both of you. If you’re reading this wondering whether your partner measures up, it’s worth also asking how you’re showing up. The healthiest relationships are the ones where both people are giving.
If you recognise most of these in your relationship, appreciate it, and make sure your partner knows how much they mean to you. If some are missing, it’s worth an honest conversation about what you both want to build together.