By 
There’s a thin line between being genuinely polite and just putting on a facade of politeness.
The difference lies in the intentions. Being truly kind means treating others well out of genuine care and respect. However, a facade of politeness often hides mean intentions deep down.
Women who are polite on the surface but mean underneath generally show certain behaviours. And those who can pick up on these signs often save themselves a lot of heartache.
Here are eight behaviours typically displayed by women who seem nice on the outside but are actually quite mean on the inside.
1) They’re overly sweet
Excessive sweetness can sometimes be a red flag, especially when it seems to be out of context or too much.
Women who are polite on the surface, but mean deep down, often use an overly sweet demeanor as a mask. It’s their way of hiding their true intentions and making themselves seem harmless.
But underneath that saccharine exterior often lies a mean streak. The overly sweet behavior is often just a decoy, designed to distract you from their real intentions.
So, if you encounter a woman who is excessively sweet and kind, especially if it seems forced or out of place, be cautious. It could be a sign that she’s not as nice as she’s trying to appear.
Take note of this behavior, but remember, it’s one of many signs to look out for. Don’t jump to conclusions based on this single point.
2) They use backhanded compliments
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that words can be extremely deceptive. Especially when it comes to backhanded compliments.
I remember a woman I used to work with. She always had a smile on her face and was polite to everyone. But the compliments she gave were often subtly insulting.
Once, she told me, “I love how you just wear anything. You’re so brave!” On the surface, it looked like a compliment about my confidence. But in reality, it was a dig at my fashion choices.
Backhanded compliments are a classic tactic used by individuals who are polite on the surface but mean deep down. It’s their way of putting you down without appearing overtly hostile.
Pay attention to the compliments you receive. If they leave you feeling insulted rather than uplifted, it might be a sign of someone who is not as kind as they appear.
3) They gossip a lot
Gossiping is often seen as a harmless pastime. But did you know that it can actually be an indication of someone’s character?
When women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down engage in gossip, they’re not just sharing idle chatter. They’re using it as a tool to undermine others and elevate themselves.
These individuals often share negative information about others, not out of concern, but to make themselves look better in comparison. They might seem nice to your face, but behind your back, they’re spreading rumors and damaging your reputation.
So next time you hear someone frequently indulging in gossip, take note. It might be a sign that they’re not as nice as they seem.
4) They struggle with genuine kindness
Another common trait amongst women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down is a difficulty with genuine acts of kindness.
These individuals often struggle to show genuine empathy or kindness. Their actions might seem polite, but they lack the warm, sincere undertone that comes with genuine kindness.
For example, they might offer to help you with something, but their assistance often feels perfunctory or forced. They do it out of obligation, not out of a genuine desire to help.
This lack of sincerity often reveals itself in small, subtle ways. So keep your eyes open for those moments where their politeness feels more like a performance than a true reflection of their character.
5) They rarely show vulnerability
Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. It’s what allows us to truly understand and empathize with each other. But for women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, not a strength.
These women rarely let their guard down. They present a polished, perfect exterior that doesn’t allow for any perceived weakness or flaw. But this inability to be vulnerable often masks a lack of authenticity and genuine emotion.
Connecting on a deep, emotional level can be challenging with these individuals. They might seem nice and polite, but their unwillingness to show vulnerability can make it difficult to form a genuine bond.
So remember, it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to let people see the real you. And if someone is unwilling to do the same, it might be a sign that they’re not as kind as they appear.
6) They’re often dismissive of others’ feelings
One trait that I’ve noticed in women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down is a certain dismissiveness towards others’ feelings.
In the past, I’ve experienced situations where my worries or fears were brushed off with a simple “You’re overreacting.” Or moments of excitement and joy were met with a disinterested “That’s nice.”
This lack of empathy and understanding can be hurtful. It makes you feel like your emotions aren’t valid or important. And it’s something that these individuals often do, not realizing the impact it has on those around them.
So, if someone consistently dismisses or trivializes your feelings, take note. It could be an indication that they’re not as kind as they seem.
7) They’re passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressiveness is another common trait displayed by women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down.
These individuals often express their anger or resentment in indirect ways. They might make sarcastic comments, give silent treatment, or subtly undermine your efforts instead of expressing their feelings openly.
This behavior can be confusing and frustrating. You might feel like something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.
So if you constantly feel uneasy or second-guessing yourself around someone, despite their polite demeanor, it might be because they’re expressing their negativity in passive-aggressive ways.
8) They lack genuine respect for others
At the end of the day, the most telling sign of a woman who is polite on the surface but mean deep down is a lack of genuine respect for others.
No matter how polite or sweet they might seem, if they don’t genuinely respect you and your boundaries, it’s a clear sign of their true colors. They might dismiss your ideas, belittle your achievements, or disregard your feelings.
Remember, respect is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. So if it’s missing, it’s a clear sign that the person you’re dealing with isn’t as nice as they appear.
Final thought: It’s about discernment
Understanding human behavior is a complex process, often requiring us to dig beneath the surface.
In relation to women who are polite on the surface but mean deep down, it’s crucial to remember that these behavioral traits are not universal. They are merely potential signs, not definitive markers.
It’s also important to remember that people can change. A person exhibiting these behaviors today might not be the same person tomorrow. Growth and understanding can lead to significant transformations in character.
Navigating these complexities requires discernment—a keen ability to judge well. Discernment allows us to see past the polite facades and recognize the hidden meanness, but also to recognize potential for change and growth.
So, practice discernment in your interactions. Look beyond the surface. Remember, what appears polite on the outside may not always reflect what lies beneath.