By 
When my daughter was three weeks old, I found myself pacing our apartment at 3 AM, laptop balanced in one hand, baby in the other.
She wouldn’t sleep unless I was moving, and I had a deadline due at 9.
Between bouncing her gently and reviewing work, I had this moment of clarity: Nothing I’d read about work-life balance had prepared me for this.
Sure, the parenting books covered sleep schedules and feeding routines, plus the business books talked about time blocking and delegation.
However, nobody told me what it’s really like when work calls during bath time, or when you’re negotiating a deal while your baby discovers the joy of throwing food.
Now, several months into this wild ride of running a company while raising a tiny human, I’ve learned some truths that no book ever mentioned.
These are the real, messy, sometimes counterintuitive lessons that only come from living in the trenches of ambitious parenthood.
1) Your productivity will become weirdly superhuman (and in 17-minute bursts)
Remember when you thought you were productive? That was cute.
Before becoming a parent, I’d block out three-hour chunks for deep work.
I’d ease into tasks, take my time, maybe grab a coffee halfway through.
Now? I can accomplish more in the 17 minutes my daughter naps than I used to in an entire morning.
It’s like parenthood unlocks some dormant efficiency gene, learn to write emails one-handed while feeding, master the art of the silent conference call (mute button game strong), and discover you can review contracts while doing the baby bounce dance that’s the only thing preventing a meltdown.
The weird part is, this fragmented productivity actually works.
Maybe it’s the adrenaline of knowing you have exactly until the next diaper change to finish that report, or maybe it’s that parenthood strips away all the procrastination habits you didn’t even know you had.
Either way, forget everything you learned about needing perfect conditions to work.
Your new office might be a dark nursery with white noise blasting, and you’ll still crush that presentation.
2) You have to consciously build the “village” everyone talks about
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Everyone says this, nodding wisely, as if villages just spontaneously form around new parents like some kind of support force field.
Here’s what they don’t tell you: In modern life, especially when you’re career-focused, that village doesn’t exist unless you actively construct it, brick by brick.
Living between Singapore and Saigon means our families aren’t just around the corner.
Our friends are scattered across time zones. The village isn’t there waiting because you have to be intentional about creating it.
This means swallowing your pride and actually asking for help, joining parent groups even when you’d rather be working, and maintaining friendships even when you haven’t showered in three days and your main conversation topic is sleep schedules.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I write about the importance of sangha, or community, in Buddhist practice.
Turns out, this ancient wisdom is exactly what modern parents need. You can’t do this alone, and more importantly, you shouldn’t have to.
3) Your relationship with time becomes Buddhist (whether you like it or not)
I’ve studied mindfulness for years, but nothing taught me about being present quite like having a baby.
Babies don’t care about your five-year plan, and they don’t understand that you have a board meeting in an hour.
They exist entirely in the now, and they drag you there with them, kicking and screaming if necessary.
At first, this drove me crazy. I’d be holding my daughter, mentally running through my to-do list, anxious about all the work piling up.
However, here’s what I discovered: Babies are basically tiny Zen masters, and they demand your complete presence in a way that no meditation app ever could.
When she smiles, you’re there; when she cries, you’re there.
Moreover, when she discovers her hands for the first time and stares at them like they’re magical, you’re right there with her, seeing the world through fresh eyes.
This forced presence has actually made me better at work. The multitasking myth dies a quick death when you realize you can’t simultaneously close a deal and comfort a teething baby.
4) Career success and parenting success are weirdly complementary
The narrative goes like this: you can be a great parent or have a great career, pick one.
What a load of garbage!
Here’s what actually happens: The skills you develop in each role enhance the other.
Running a company taught me about patience, negotiation, and creative problem-solving.
Guess what? Those are exactly the skills you need at 2 AM with a screaming infant.
Meanwhile, parenthood has made me a better leader: I’m more empathetic with my team, I understand why someone might need flexibility, and I’ve learned that sometimes the best solution is the simplest one.
The patience I’ve developed from explaining the same thing to my daughter 47 times? That translates directly to client management.
The creativity required to make airplane noises convincing enough to get food into a tiny mouth? That’s basically marketing.
Co-founding Brown Brothers Media with my brothers taught me about building something from scratch.
Turns out, raising a human is the ultimate startup: Long hours, no instruction manual, pivoting constantly, and hoping your investors (in this case, grandparents) stay supportive.
5) The guilt is real, constant, and completely useless
Working late? Feel guilty about not being home.
Playing with your baby? Feel guilty about not working.
Taking a shower? Guilty about both.
Parent guilt is like a subscription service you never signed up for but can’t seem to cancel.
When you have a demanding career, it doubles down as every choice feels like you’re failing someone.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: Everyone feels this way.
That parent who seems to have it all together? They’re drowning in guilt too.
The executive who never mentions their kids at work? Guilt.
The stay-at-home parent? Different flavor, same guilt.
The breakthrough comes when you realize guilt is just noise. It just makes you tired, and what matters is being intentional about your choices and present in whatever you’re doing.
6) Your definition of success will completely transform (and that’s the best part)
Pre-baby me measured success in metrics: Revenue growth, team size, market expansion.
These things still matter, but they’ve been joined by completely different victories.
Success is now your daughter sleeping through an important call.
It’s finding a way to include her in your morning routine without adding extra time, and watching her discover something new while you’re supposedly “just babysitting” during your work break.
In Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explored how attachment to outcomes creates suffering.
Parenthood is the advanced course in this philosophy; you can plan all you want, but ultimately, you’re not in control.
When you stop trying to force everything into neat categories of “work” and “life,” you discover that they’re parts of the same messy and beautiful whole.
My daughter doesn’t care that I run a media company. She just knows I’m the person who makes silly faces and reads stories with different voices.
Meanwhile, my work has gained depth and meaning because I’m creating something my daughter might someday be proud of.
Final words
Looking back at that 3 AM moment, laptop in one hand, baby in the other, I realize I was trying to solve the wrong problem.
I was looking for balance, as if work and parenthood were weights on opposite sides of a scale.
What I’ve learned is that it’s about integration, letting these two parts of your life inform and enhance each other, and being okay with the chaos, finding productivity in the margins, and redefining success on your own terms.
The parenting books won’t tell you this because it’s not neat and it’s not a five-step process or a foolproof system because it’s messy, unpredictable, and different for everyone.
However, here’s the secret: That’s exactly what makes it work.