By 
My twenties were a productivity junkie’s fever dream: GTD systems, Pomodoro timers, time-blocking apps, and morning routines that started at 4:30 AM.
I tried them all as I even had color-coded calendars, accountability partners, and enough productivity books to build a small fort.
And you know what? I was exhausted, anxious, and somehow still behind on everything that mattered.
The irony hit me during my early thirties: I’d spent so much time optimizing my life that I’d forgotten to actually live it.
All those systems were just sophisticated forms of procrastination dressed up as progress.
Now at 37, with a baby daughter who couldn’t care less about my perfectly organized Notion database, I’ve discovered something revolutionary: Real productivity is about doing less of what doesn’t matter.
Here are eight things I stopped doing that transformed my productivity more than any app or system ever could:
1) Stopped checking my phone before breakfast
Remember when mornings used to be quiet? Me neither.
For years, I’d reach for my phone before my feet hit the floor, immediately flooding my brain with other people’s priorities, problems, and opinions.
Starting the day with emails and notifications is like letting a hundred people into your bedroom before you’ve even brushed your teeth; it sets a reactive tone that echoes through your entire day.
Now? My phone stays in another room until after breakfast. Those first 45 minutes belong to me, my thoughts, and occasionally, my daughter’s impressive ability to get banana on the ceiling.
The world can wait and, surprisingly, it always does.
2) Stopped saying yes to everything that sounded interesting
In my twenties, every opportunity felt like THE opportunity.
Coffee with that guy who might know someone? Yes.
Free workshop on a skill I might someday need? Absolutely.
Side project that could maybe possibly lead somewhere? Sign me up.
I was terrified of missing out on the one thing that would change everything, but here’s what I learned from studying Buddhism (and what I explore deeper in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego): When you say yes to everything, you’re actually saying no to depth, mastery, and genuine connection.
These days, my default is no because I finally understand that a few deep commitments beat a hundred shallow ones every time.
Quality over quantity is a survival strategy in a world designed to scatter your attention.
3) Stopped multitasking (yes, even the “productive” kind)
I used to pride myself on juggling multiple projects, having three browser tabs open while on calls, and listening to podcasts while cooking dinner.
Look at me, maximizing every second!
Except I wasn’t, because I was fracturing my attention into increasingly useless pieces. The research is clear on this, but we all pretend we’re the exception (we’re not, though).
Now, when I write, I write; when I’m with my daughter, I’m with my daughter.
Single-tasking feels almost rebellious in 2024, but it’s also the closest thing to a superpower you can develop.
4) Stopped treating rest like a reward
“I’ll rest when this project is done.”
“Just need to get through this busy period.”
“Sleep is for the weak.”
Sound familiar? That was my internal monologue throughout my entire twenties.
Rest was something you earned, not something you needed. This backwards thinking kept me in a constant state of depletion. I was running on fumes, proud of my ability to push through exhaustion like it was some kind of medal of honor.
Now, I schedule rest like I schedule meetings: Non-negotiable, because rest is the foundation of it.
Your best ideas come in the shower for a reason, and your brain needs space to process, connect, and create.
Deny it that space, and you’re just a very busy hamster on a wheel.
5) Stopped consuming endless self-improvement content
The irony of writing this on a self-development site isn’t lost on me, but hear me out.
I spent years consuming every productivity hack, life optimization strategy, and morning routine breakdown I could find. I was addicted to the feeling of potential progress without actually making any.
Reading about meditation for three hours isn’t meditation, and watching videos about productivity isn’t productive.
At some point, you have to stop preparing to live and actually start living.
6) Stopped trying to optimize every aspect of my life
Remember when hobbies were just hobbies? When you could enjoy something without tracking metrics or trying to monetize it?
I’d turned everything into an optimization project: Running meant tracking every split time, reading meant highlighting and note-taking systems, and even relaxation had KPIs.
This constant optimization is exhausting and, more importantly, it strips the joy from experiences that should be inherently enjoyable.
As I discuss in Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, sometimes the most productive thing you can do is stop trying to be productive.
Let some areas of your life be beautifully, wonderfully inefficient.
7) Stopped believing busy equals important
“How are you?” “So busy!”
This exchange became my default conversation starter for years. Busy was my identity, my excuse, and somehow, my badge of honor.
However, busy is often just noise. It’s motion without progress, activity without achievement, and it’s what happens when you don’t have clear priorities (so everything becomes urgent).
The truly productive people I know now? They have surprisingly calm schedules.
They’re not racing between meetings or drowning in their inboxes because they’ve figured out what actually matters and politely ignored everything else.
Being busy is easy, and being productive requires saying no to good things so you can say yes to great ones.
8) Stopped postponing the life I wanted to “someday”
“When I’m more established…”
“Once things calm down…”
“After I achieve this and that…”
I had a whole life planned for “someday.” Someday I’d travel more, someday I’d spend quality time with family, and someday I’d pursue the projects that actually excited me.
However, someday is a moving target and there’s always another milestone, another goal, and another reason to wait.
Having a daughter changed this for me: Watching her discover the world with pure presence and joy reminded me that life is happening right now, not in some optimized future version.
So, I stopped waiting and started writing the book I’d been planning “someday,” taking those trips, and having those conversations.
Productivity is about being intentional with your time so you can live now.
Final words
Looking back at my twenties, I don’t regret the systems I tried or the productivity rabbit holes I fell down.
They taught me what doesn’t work, which is often more valuable than knowing what does, but the biggest shift happened when I stopped trying to hack my way to a better life and started actually living one.
Real productivity is about doing the right things with intention, having the courage to disappoint people who want you to be everything to everyone, and recognizing that your attention is your most valuable resource and protecting it accordingly.
Your thirties (or forties, or fifties) don’t have to look like your twenties. You can choose depth over breadth, presence over productivity, and meaning over metrics.
The most productive thing I do now? I stop, pause, and ask myself if what I’m doing actually matters or if I’m just staying busy to avoid the discomfort of stillness.
Usually, it’s the latter and that awareness alone has made all the difference.