By 
There’s a huge distinction between being male and being a real man.
Being male is a matter of biology, but becoming a real man is all about character, actions and attitude.
The journey to manhood is filled with challenges and milestones that test your mettle and shape your identity.
There are 8 things I believe every guy needs to do before he can truly call himself a man.
Let’s get started.
1) Embrace responsibility
Becoming a real man isn’t just about physical strength or reaching a certain age. It’s about stepping up, taking responsibility and owning your actions.
In life, we’re often faced with situations that call for us to act responsibly, whether it’s in our personal relationships, at work, or even in how we treat ourselves.
The first step towards manhood is embracing responsibility. It’s about recognizing that your actions have consequences and you’re the one who has to answer for them.
It’s not always easy. In fact, it can be downright tough at times. But in the end, taking responsibility sets the foundation for everything else that follows on the path to manhood.
Remember, being a man isn’t just about getting older. It’s about growing up. And growing up means stepping up and being responsible.
2) Learn to listen
A lesson I learned early in life is that being a man is not about dominating conversations or proving you’re the smartest person in the room. It’s about learning to listen.
I still remember an incident from my college days. I was in a group project with three other classmates. One of them was a quiet guy who hardly spoke during our meetings. I, on the other hand, was always eager to share my ideas and take charge.
One day, our professor pulled me aside and said, “I’ve noticed you like to talk, but have you tried listening?” It hit me hard. I realized I had been so focused on my own voice that I hadn’t given others the chance to contribute.
From then on, I made a conscious effort to listen more than speaking. Not only did it improve our group dynamic, but it also made me realize that everyone has something valuable to share.
Being a real man means knowing when to speak and when to listen. It’s about understanding that everyone has a voice and every voice deserves to be heard.
3) Master a skill
In ancient Japan, samurais were known for their prowess in martial arts, but they were also expected to be skilled in other arts like calligraphy, poetry, and tea ceremony. This balance was seen as a mark of their character and discipline.
Fast forward to the present day, and the value of mastering a skill still holds true. It’s not about becoming the next Picasso or Beethoven. It’s about dedicating yourself to learning something new and seeing it through until you become proficient at it.
Whether it’s cooking a perfect steak, fixing a leaky faucet or coding a website, having a skill that you’ve worked hard to acquire is a testament to your patience, dedication and resilience.
Mastering a skill is not just about the end result, it’s also about the journey. It’s about setting goals, facing challenges and overcoming obstacles. And in the process of mastering a skill, you’ll find that you’re not just becoming better at something, but also becoming a better man.
4) Respect others
Respect is a fundamental pillar of manhood. It’s not about demanding respect, but about extending it to others, regardless of their gender, race, religion, or social status.
Being a real man means treating others with kindness and acceptance, understanding that everyone has their own battles and struggles. It’s about acknowledging the worth of every individual and recognizing their right to be treated with dignity.
Respecting others also means respecting their boundaries and personal space. It’s about being considerate of other people’s feelings and perspectives.
In the end, giving respect is a reflection of who you are as a person. And as the saying goes, you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
5) Show vulnerability
There’s a common misconception that being a man means being tough all the time. But the truth is, real strength lies in vulnerability.
Being a real man means having the courage to show your feelings, to admit when you’re wrong or when you’re hurt. It’s okay to cry, to be scared, to feel lost. These are not signs of weakness, but of humanity.
We are all humans, after all, and we have a full spectrum of emotions. Denying them doesn’t make you more of a man; it just makes you less of a human.
So, don’t be afraid to let your guard down. To share your fears and your dreams. To ask for help when you need it. Because in those moments of vulnerability, you’ll discover not just who you are as a man, but who you are as a person.
6) Give without expecting
One Christmas, I decided to volunteer at a local shelter. The experience was humbling. I met people who, despite having so little, were grateful for what they had. It made me realize how often I took things for granted.
Being a real man means understanding the power of giving without expecting anything in return. It’s about realizing that sometimes, the most valuable things you can offer are your time and your kindness.
Whether it’s helping a neighbor with their groceries, spending time with an elderly relative, or volunteering in your community, these acts of service enrich not just the lives of those you help, but your own life as well.
It’s about understanding that in giving we receive. That the richest men are not those who have the most, but those who give the most.
7) Stand up for what’s right
There are moments in life when you’re faced with a choice: to stand by silently or to stand up for what’s right. Being a real man means choosing the latter, even when it’s not the easy choice.
It’s about standing up against injustice, against prejudice, against bullying. It’s about standing up for others who can’t stand up for themselves. It’s about using your voice and your actions to fight for fairness and equality, even when it feels like you’re standing alone.
Standing up for what’s right isn’t about being a hero. It’s about being a decent human being. And it’s in these moments of courage and integrity that you truly become a man.
8) Be true to yourself
At the end of the day, the most important aspect of being a real man is being true to yourself. It’s about knowing who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for.
It’s not about fitting into a predefined box of what a man should be. It’s about being authentic, being you, with all your strengths and weaknesses.
You don’t become a real man by trying to be someone else. You become a real man by being the best version of yourself.
Closing thoughts: No set formula
The journey to manhood is as complex and varied as life itself. There is no one-size-fits-all blueprint, no fixed checklist, because each man’s journey is uniquely his own.
What truly defines a man is not just his actions, but his character. It’s about embodying values like responsibility, respect, resilience, and authenticity. It’s about growing and learning, making mistakes and learning from them.
The poet Robert Browning once wrote, “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp.” This encapsulates the essence of manhood – a continuous striving to be better, to do more, to reach further.
So as you reflect on these eight points, remember that being a real man isn’t about achieving a set of goals. It’s about the journey you take and the person you become along the way.
Your journey to manhood isn’t something that can be defined or limited by others. It’s your own unique path. And only you can decide what kind of man you want to be.