7 Stoic secrets to living a happier life

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Finding happiness can often feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. But what if I told you an ancient philosophy could really help?

Yep; an ancient philosophy.Born in ancient Greece in 300 B.C.E, Stoicism is as relevant today as it was all those years ago. 

Today, we dive into seven Stoic secrets that can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and tranquility.

These principles have helped countless others to develop resilience, purpose, and contentment. They might just do the same for you.

01 Focus on what you can control

Ever felt like you’re spinning your wheels, getting nowhere?

Me too. That’s often because we waste energy on things we can’t control – the weather, traffic, other people’s opinions.

Epictetus, one of the most famous Stoic philosophers, wrote “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.”

The lesson?

Distinguish between what’s in your control and what isn’t. By applying this Stoic principle, you can stop beating yourself up over things outside of your grasp and start investing your energy where it actually counts – in your own actions and attitudes.

So ask yourself this: where am I focusing my energy today? Is it on things within my control or on elements outside of it?

The answer might just surprise you.

02 Embrace challenges to make yourself stronger 

“Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body.” – Seneca

Think of going to the gym. Lifting weights may be tough, and you might struggle at first, but over time, we all know that our muscles will grow stronger and more resilient.

Challenges of the mind aren’t so different. Stoicism teaches us to welcome challenges, not just to get through them but to grow from them. Each difficulty we face is a chance to test our resilience, sharpen our skills, and build our character.

Think of challenges as personal workouts for your mental strength. Just as you build strength with each workout,  you can feel more capable and confident with every obstacle you overcome.

03 Stop worrying so much about what others think

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.” – Marcus Aurelius

In today’s world, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of valuing others’ opinions over our own. Social media likes, peer approval, and societal success markers can all make us feel as though our worth is measured by external standards.

Stoicism, however, offers a powerful counterpoint to this modern dilemma: True value comes not from external validation but from within—our principles, actions, and self-awareness.

It’s about understanding that while feedback can be useful, it should not define our self-worth or dictate our happiness.

This Stoic approach encourages us to detach from the need for approval and focus on cultivating our own values and capabilities. It’s not about isolating ourselves from others’ opinions but rather about not allowing those opinions to overpower our own self-assessment.

So, next time you find yourself worrying about what others think, remember Marcus Aurelius’ insight. Value your own opinion of yourself above all and anchor your self-worth in your own virtues and actions, not the shifting sands of external validation.

04 Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

It may seem unusual to actively think about the worst-case scenarios, especially when we’re often told to stay positive. However, Stoicism introduces a practical tool: the practice of negative visualization.

This isn’t about dwelling on the negative but about being prepared for it.

Consider what could go wrong in your day-to-day life—projects not going as planned, unexpected feedback, or personal setbacks. By mentally rehearsing these scenarios, you’re not succumbing to pessimism; instead, you’re armoring yourself against the shocks and surprises of life.

This Stoic exercise helps us detach from overconfidence and complacency. It encourages proactive thinking and contingency planning. If you’ve already considered the worst outcome, you can remain calm and collected when faced with adversity because you’re prepared.

So, take a moment to ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” By contemplating this question, you empower yourself to face any situation with resilience and foresight, ensuring you’re not only ready to handle difficulties but also more appreciative of when things go right.

05 Make the most of each day

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” – Seneca

It’s easy to get caught up in the grand scheme of things, planning for the future or dwelling on the past. However, Stoicism teaches us the importance of focusing on the present and making the most of every day.

By viewing each day as a distinct life, we are encouraged to live fully in the moment and not postpone our happiness or duties. This perspective fosters a sense of urgency and appreciation for the now, motivating us to act with purpose and passion every day.

Imagine the possibilities if you approached each morning with the mindset that today is a complete life in itself. What would you do differently? How would you treat others? What goals would you strive to accomplish by nightfall?

Adopting this Stoic principle can transform not just your day, but your entire approach to life, making every day a valuable and impactful chapter of your existence.

06 Reflect, reflect, reflect

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates

Stoicism encourages us to make reflection a daily habit, not just an occasional practice. It’s about looking at what we did each day, considering what went well, what didn’t, and most importantly, how we can improve. This isn’t about being overly critical or dwelling on mistakes, but about learning and evolving through self-awareness.

Imagine ending each day with a few minutes of quiet reflection. What did you learn today? How did you respond to challenges? Did your actions align with your values? This practice helps to deepen your understanding of yourself and guides you in making more informed, conscientious choices.

Incorporating regular reflection into your routine can transform seemingly ordinary days into opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Embrace this Stoic practice and watch how it enriches your life, keeping you engaged and purposeful in everything you do.

07 Remember that you will die

Last but not least, stoicism introduces us to the sobering yet powerful concept of “memento mori,” which roughly translates to “remember that you will die.” This might sound morbid at first glance, but it serves as a crucial reminder of life’s impermanence and the importance of living meaningfully.

By keeping the reality of our mortality in mind, we’re encouraged to not take our days for granted. Each moment becomes more precious when you acknowledge that life does not last forever. This awareness can drive us to act with purpose, focus on what truly matters, and let go of trivial concerns and disputes.

Think of “memento mori” as a tool for clarity. It clears away the distractions and superficialities of daily life, allowing us to focus on creating a legacy of kindness, wisdom, and integrity. It urges us to ask ourselves regularly: Are we living in a way that we would be proud of when we reach the end of our journey?

Embracing this Stoic reminder helps us to live not in fear of death, but with a profound appreciation for life, making every action and decision count towards a meaningful existence.

The bottom line

Stoicism, with its age-old wisdom, offers more than just a philosophical echo from the past; it provides actionable insights that can profoundly influence our modern lives.

By focusing on what we can control, embracing challenges, and valuing our own judgments over external approval, Stoicism teaches us resilience and inner peace in a world that often seems dominated by chaos and noise.

These principles don’t just help us cope; they empower us to thrive, making the most of each day and leading lives of purpose and calm.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Until next time.