Dating is definitely not a place where unclear signals are well-received, especially when that signal is about what drew that person to you in the first place.
For the gents, that means knowing exactly what the lady sees in you – if nothing else just so there’s an expectation of where things stand. So how do you know that she’s actually really into you, or is just using you as arm candy?
Here are some ways to figure it out.
1) Most of Your Interactions Revolve Around Sex
One of the most obvious signs that a woman only wants you for your body is if sex makes up the majority of your interactions – no dates, no hangouts, no checking in unless clothes are fully off.
If you feel like you’re less of a date and more of a booty call, then you’re definitely only there for sex.
This can be even more obvious if you try to initiate anything not related to sex (more specifics on that later) and they just lose or feign interest in the activity.
If you notice that they’re only getting excited or enthusiastic at the prospect of having sex with you but don’t really react any other time, then they’re most likely only interested in your body, and nothing else.
2) A Lot of Nude Calls and Nude Videos
Here’s a story: I once dated a really hot girl that I really liked.
She had all the stuff that I was looking for in looks, attitude, and intellectual stimulation – but there was always one thing that slightly bothered me about her, and it’s that she asked for a lot of nudes.
Now, I’m normally not one to shy away from nudes, but it always struck me how enthusiastic she was about it.
And that always seemed to be everything that she was concerned about online – when we were together, she never really took photos of us like I did or any other activity that we were doing where we were clothed.
Things finally clicked for me when I looked through our chat history and noticed that all the media that we had of each other was just nudes.
It’s not like I didn’t like her sexually – but it was clear that the only thing that she really saw of interest in me was my body, and that was the end of that.
3) They Like Your Photos Online – But Only The Ones That Show Off Your Body
While it has its fair share of faults and opportunities for misunderstanding, social media can be a pretty telling indicator of someone’s interest in you. This is especially apparent if you’re active on places like Instagram.
If you’ve been posting a lot of pics of you in the gym or at the beach – or somewhere just showing off your body – and you get a flood of likes from her when she ignores everything else, that’s already a telling sign.
It’s even more telling if you post something and she directly replies to it (with an invitation to meet up soon) while not mentioning much else.
Just pay attention to what type of photos you have that she likes, and you’ll be able to easily figure this out.
4) No Deeper Conversations Aside From Sex
Intellectual stimulation is important.
For me, I’m personally more invested in a woman sexually if she’s also mentally stimulating – so I can tell when they’re really only in it for the sex and nothing else.
If you two talk about nothing but sex, then there’s already a clear indicator that she’s not interested in much else.
This is even more obvious if you try to bring up other topics and she always keeps circling back to sex.
Me, I’ve been in several situations where I try to talk about any topic of conversation and I get shut down immediately.
If you feel like you two talk about nothing but sex and she doesn’t seem interested in anything else, it’s a good sign that she’s really only interested in that part of your relationship.
5) Lack of Aftercare After Sex
I’m the kind of guy that likes to cuddle a lot. Admittedly, this isn’t something that many guys are willing to admit (at least in my experience) so it’s always something I have to say to her in advance.
The thing is, aftercare is important – not only to help you catch your breath but also to bond closer to your partner.
If she’s just active during sex and doesn’t cuddle, talk, or otherwise show any interest in you after the deed is done, she’s probably only there for the sex.
That “turning over and reaching for your phone after sex” isn’t just a trope: it’s a good indicator of whether she has any interest in you outside the bedroom.
This can take a while to figure out, so just pay attention to how she reacts after sex. If she seems to lose all interest or just goes to sleep afterward without even striking up an engaged conversation, it’s a telling sign that she only likes your body.
6) She’s Very Fond of Showing You Off
There’s a certain amount of self-esteem that you can get if you go out with someone physically attractive.
After all, it’s hard to not feel a tiny amount of pride that you’ve managed to date someone that desirable, and it’s perfectly fine to feel this pride every now and then.
But remember that it’s one thing to be proud and another thing to show off – that’s where things get messy.
I’ve had a few dates who obviously only brought me along wherever they were going to brag.
Those dates felt less like they revolved around time between two people and more like I was just a new accessory they wanted to show to the world.
Be careful not to mistake just getting attention from other people for this though: it’s important to distinguish simply getting complimented over being showcased.
If her friends give you a heads-up that you look really nice, that’s fine. But if you feel like you’ve specifically been brought along just so you can serve as eye candy, that’s something else.
7) Dates Don’t Feel Like Dates
This is a tricky one, but you should be able to catch on to it after a while.
If she’s interested in “hanging out” or otherwise spending time together but she never calls it a date, it’s highly likely that she’s only after your body.
Plus points if every time you two go out together, it always ends in sex, or most of the time is spent having sex.
Now there’s nothing wrong with having sex every time you go on a date, but in my experience, there are a lot of fun things that can be done outside of sex as well.
These women are only really interested in what your body can offer – and they’ll shy away from terms or anything that may indicate otherwise.
And as soon as your body changes or they get bored of you, they’ll leave you for another guy in a second.
8) She’s Not Interested In Anyone Else In Your Life
If you’re pursuing a serious relationship, it’s inevitable that at some point your date is going to have to meet your friends and family.
It doesn’t matter when – the important part is that they will, and it’s something that they should know about going in.
So if she doesn’t express any interest in meeting your friends, family, or anyone else in your life, it’s probably a sign that she’s only really interested in you.
That’s where her commitment to whatever relationship the two of you may have ended.
Any attempts to extend or ask to commit anything more aren’t something that she’ll be interested in at all.
But be careful not to mistake this for someone who’s just too nervous or shy about meeting other important people in your life.
In these situations, she’s perfectly willing to meet them – but it may be too early or she’s not quite sure she’s ready to meet these people yet.
There’s an interest that’s being held back for various reasons, not a lack of interest to begin with.
9) Bedroom Activity Is All About Her
If you two do have sex regularly, pay attention to how exactly the sex goes.
If she’s extremely demanding about her needs in bed and doesn’t really pay any attention to yours, then it’s highly likely that she’s only using you for your body.
In my experience, women like these generally like to coast by simply on their looks and on their body rather than any actual skills in bed: they don’t like to apply themselves and they’re generally uninterested in doing the things that you may like during sex.
If they just lose interest in you once they’ve managed to become sexually satisfied, then that’s a likely sign that they’re only interested in what you have to offer sexually.
Of course, don’t mistake inexperience for selfishness – some inexperience in the bedroom can cause people to be unconsciously selfish and go after their needs.
If you communicate your expectations in the bedroom and she makes no effort to meet them (or at least work towards a compromise) then that’s a sign that she’s really only interested in what your body has to offer.
10) She’s More Interested In What You Can Do For Her
Another aspect of selfishness is a lack of interest in spending time together.
It’s normal to want to spend time with someone you like – that’s what healthy relationships are built on!
But if your date doesn’t express any interest in going out together or doing anything above the basic “hanging out,” then it may be a sign that she’s only interested in you for your body.
She obviously isn’t interested in getting to know you and isn’t interested in spending time with you.
You’ll probably find she is only excited when you’re physically close or you’re about to head to the bedroom.
11) She Doesn’t Want Your Opinions
At the end of the day, people like these are very self-centered.
They only want things that will make them happy, and they don’t care what anyone else thinks.
If your date doesn’t seem to care if you have an opinion on things or if she takes your opinion into account when making decisions, it’s probably a sign that she’s only interested in you for your body.
After all, there’s no reason to listen to your opinions if it isn’t about the naughty naughty.
If you’re a young guy and she is older, then she may believe that your opinions don’t hold much weight. But even if you are older, she might think you have immature thinking.
Most of the time if a woman doesn’t seem to care, it is usually because she is just not interested in you and your life, not because she thinks they don’t matter.
12) She’s Kinda Mean
This is another tricky one to catch on to, but it has helped me identify a woman who was only interested in what I could do for her rather than anything else about me.
When you’re going through an issue in life, she won’t care.
If you’re feeling down, she won’t care. It’s obvious that there is no genuine relationship between the two of you. She only cares about what you can do for her.
This is obviously an unhealthy balance in the relationship and if you want more then I would suggest you get out now before things get worse.
What to do next?
If you don’t like being used, and you’ve developed feelings for this lady, then you need to make a choice to do what’s best for you.
If you have fallen for this lady, then you need to let her know and she what she thinks about taking things further.
But if it’s just the sex that she wants from you then I would suggest that you end it before it gets any worse.
You will only end up feeling used in the end and all your effort is not going to mean anything.
It’s a tough situation to deal with, but people are at different stages in life and sometimes they just want different things.
Now if you’re thinking that can just wait around for a while until she’s ready, then think again. I know what you’re thinking – “What if I’m wrong? What if she really does like me, but she’s just really confused? Then why can’t I just wait it out?”
The thing is, when people have a lot of self-confidence and are used to getting what they want, they do not like to settle for second best.
They won’t even try. It’s not about whether you deserve better or not, it’s about whether she sees you as being good enough for her.
Unfortunately, right now, she has an opinion that you’re just a toy boy. Maybe you’ll mature and you’ll eventually show her that you’re better for a relationship than she thinks, but the truth is:
It’s tough to change people’s opinions and to change the relationship you’re used to with that person.
Work on yourself, and work on being self-confident. Then go for women who also want the same thing you do:
When you find a girl and you both want the same thing, you’ll find that the relationship will work and it won’t be one-sided.