Are you dating a girl but you feel like she is using you for an ego boost?
She seems to thrive on your compliments and appearances with her in public, but your relationship doesn’t go much further than that.
This usually occurs if you’re a younger, good-looking man and she is an older woman, or if you’re a “high-value man”.
Sometimes women who are sensitive about their age want to feel “liked” by a guy that is younger than them because it makes them feel younger.
Or they are with you for your money or status.
In this article, I want to go through all the signs that show she is using you as an ego boost, then I’ll discuss what actions you should take going forward.
1. She seems to thrive on your compliments
This is a big one and a rather obvious one.
Now it’s fairly common for any woman to love compliments, but if you find that she constantly seeks them out from you and it gives her energy, then there is a good chance that she is using you specifically for the ego boost.
What are some signs that she is fishing for compliments?
She may say things like ‘I feel so ugly today’, or ‘I’m so fat’ yet she looks beautiful and fit and she is only trying to get you to oppose these statements.
Or she may constantly send you pictures online because you regularly compliment her about them.
So she is seeking out any opportunity that she gets to get a compliment and she sure loves to hear them!
This by itself doesn’t mean she is using you for an ego boost. Insecure women may also constantly fish for compliments, but if you can pair this sign with some of the signs in this list then she is probably using you for her own ego.
2. She wants to be seen in public with you
Forget quiet nights at home. If this girl is using you for an ego boost then she will want to be seen in public as often as possible with you.
She may brag about herself and ask you to set up her friends (who are not her girlfriends) to meet her in public.
Or she may go out of her way to be photographed with you where it seems like it was just a ‘coincidence’.
She might also regularly post the two of you together on social media because she loves the attention.
Furthermore, when it’s just you and her alone, she seems to be almost a different person. She lacks energy and it’s almost as if she doesn’t want to be there.
This is a big one, but it’s so easy to miss if you’re spending most of your time with her in public.
The key really is to suggest date nights at home and see how she reacts. If she just wants to be seen with you in public, she’ll most likely say no.
3 She pours his heart out to you… by phone.
Some men crave male attention, but they don’t want the responsibility of a true relationship.
They’ll lead men on by chatting to them online, but when it comes to actually meet in real life, they’re nowhere to be seen.
If this girl does 100% of her communication with you online, but always rejects your advances to meet in real life, then she might be using you for attention.
This is why she continues to message you and send you photos of herself. She loves the attention from you but she doesn’t love you.
Another way you can see if this is the case is if she rarely asks you questions about yourself. She doesn’t seem interested in you as a person but is interested in the attention you give her.
4. She is very hot and cold
Sometimes she is responding to every message you send her and gives you thoughtful replies, and other times she doesn’t respond to you for over a week.
And if she does, it’s just a one-word response.
This is a clear sign that she is only chatting to you when it suits her. She loves the attention when she needs a self-esteem boost, but she isn’t necessarily interested in you.
Sometimes women just need to feel “wanted” by other guys, and when they achieve that goal, they go missing. This could be what is happening to you.
5. She shows you off to her friends, but never takes your relationship further
If she is using you for an ego boost, then when she invites you out, she will probably invite you out with other people.
After all, she wants other people to know that “she has a boyfriend”.
She wants other people to know that she is not a single, lonely woman.
It’s sad, but there is a lot of pressure on women to “find a man” in society.
Although this isn’t necessarily bad, it shows that she is using you for her own ego.
And if you want a genuine relationship with you, then you’re in for a tough road ahead.
Her sole intention is to show you off to others and prove she has a boyfriend. She wants to boost her social credits and you’re the perfect tool to help her do that.
But if she never wants to take your relationship further in any way, then clearly she is only in it for social approval.
6. You see her flirting with other guys on social media
If she is using you for an ego boost, then she is probably using other guys for an ego boost as well.
For example, you may see many guys commenting on her photos about how beautiful she looks and she responds back by encouraging them. This is a sign that she loves the attention, and it boosts her ego.
It could also mean that she is privately chatting with many guys and sending them the same photos she is sending you.
Again, if this is the case, she probably won’t be interested in you as a person. She will only fish for compliments from you and that’s about it.
7. She never compliments you
Now I realize that this seems like a really silly one. But women who use you don’t actually compliment you in return.
Sure she loves to hear them, and sure she loves to be seen in public with you, but in all other aspects, she doesn’t really care about you or your feelings.
If you compliment her, she doesn’t bother complimenting you back, ever.
This shows where her mindset is. It’s about herself and her own feelings. You’re the guy that can boost her self-esteem.
After all, perhaps you’re a young or good-looking guy and she wants you around to show off to her friends.
She doesn’t care about your personality and often will not even bring you into the conversation.
She just wants you for validation purposes only.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be seen as a high-value guy that has the credibility to boost a women’s self-esteem but when she is using you, it means the relationship might never progress into anything serious.
7. You see her out and about with other men
If you ever catch her with another guy, then that’s a sign that she isn’t very serious about you.
In fact, it probably shows that she is playing the field because she loves the attention of men because it gives her an ego boost.
Don’t get me wrong, she could just be playing the field and looking for a boyfriend, but if shows the other signs in this article, then she is probably using men to give her an ego boost – in other words, using other men to make her feel wanted by the opposite sex.
That’s fine on her part, but if you want something serious with this girl, then you should be holding her accountable by showing that you want more than just a superficial ego-boost relationship.
Because if she’s using you, then she’s going to cut you loose when she no longer needs a self-esteem boost.
8. She’s been single for a long time and just getting back in the game
If you have been dating a woman who has been single for a long time, and she is back in the game and starting to chat to you again, then there are many things that can be happening here.
Firstly, there is the fact that she just needs someone new to chat with, because she feels lonely.
Then there is the fact that maybe she is insecure. After all, she hasn’t dated anyone for a long time and wants to see if men are still interested in her.
She may also be testing the waters and see what kind of men are into her.
If you’re a handsome and high-value man, then she may chat with you out of curiosity to see if you’re into her.
If she’s just gotten out of a relationship, she may not be ready for dating, but that doesn’t mean she won’t test the waters to get herself back into the game.
She might want to see if men like her again, and just be curious about it.
9. You have significant connections or status and that’s all she cares about
If you’re a popular person, then she may just be interested in you because you’re popular. For example, we’ve all heard about the WAGS of football players that date their famous sporting boyfriends because they’re attracted to their position, not the person.
This is the same kind of logic here with a lot of women who may choose to date wealthy or famous men because it gives them a good ego boost.
She looks at you and thinks “I’m dating a very high-status man, I must be good enough!” because she doesn’t care what you’re like as a person but just the fact that you’re inside a very high-status group.
If she’s using you to be part of the “A-list crowd” then you can bet your bottom dollar she is probably not interested in you as a person.
Does she ask you deep questions about your life and your future?
Or does she stick to superficial topics like who knows who and material objects?
Whatever she focuses on when she talks with you is where her mind is at.
10. She’s a superficial person
If you’re dating a superficial person, then there is no point in even trying to convince her otherwise because she will not listen.
She has her own way of looking at things. If you’re going to argue with them then they are probably arguing with you out of their own insecurity because they need to make sure that they are seen as more attractive than other people.
They want validation and attention from other people and once they get it, that’s all that matters to them.
This is quite common these days with social media.
If she is constantly doing banal and attention-seeking social media posts, and she’s using you as a prop in them, then it’s pretty obvious she’s using you for superficial means.
Again, if she doesn’t care about you as a person, and only cares about you as a prop to boost her ego, then I strongly recommend running for the hills.
Run as fast as possible because this girl is not going to be interested in a relationship with you at all.
She will enjoy the attention of other men and she will probably keep you around until she goes out with another guy that gives her a better ego boost than you do.