11 unfortunate signs you blew it with a girl (complete list)

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I’m sure plenty of guys have encountered this situation: the date goes well, and you seem to be doing all the right things, and saying all the right stuff.

Then suddenly… nothing. When you inevitably ask about what happened, you either don’t get a response or just get turned down.

While this may seem like it came out from nowhere, trust me: it never does. If you want to know the signs to look out for, here are a few things to keep an eye on:

1) Sudden Lack Of Contact

This one is one of the most obvious signs that you’ve blown it, but it still bears repeating: if a girl doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, you probably blew it.

For most women, losing interest in keeping contact with a guy who they don’t like usually manifests in missing their calls, ignoring their messages… just not giving them any contact at all.

Lack of contact usually means lack of interest, because why would a woman spend their time responding to someone they don’t even like?

If you’ve sent her a few messages and she hasn’t bothered to reply (or even see them) in days, then it’s probably a sign that you should stop the chit-chat and move on.

2) She’s Not Comfortable Letting You Into Her Space

Personal space is an important thing in any relationship.

If a woman lets you into their personal space, that means they’re comfortable with you, and they might even be interested in something more.

But if they don’t let you into their space, put something between your space and theirs, and otherwise just don’t let you in, it’s a clear sign that you blew it somehow.

There are a lot of reasons for this: being pushy, wrong timing, or bad hygiene are all surefire ways to blow your chances with a girl.

If you’re not in her space, you’re not going any further with her – it’s that simple.

3) You Notice That All The Effort Is Coming From You

A certain amount of effort is always required in dating, but the amount of effort both of you put in must be enough for each other.

Or at the very least, you should meet halfway. If you notice a lot of the interactions between you two (making plans, striking up a conversation, or other things like that) are usually initiated by you and never by her, that’s a good sign that you’ve lost her.

For women, it’s usually because it’s hard to justify putting in the effort if the guy already blew their chances with them – but if they want to keep going and it’s not in a way that they find objectionable, there’s really not a reason to stop them.

4) They Become Colder To You

It’s one of the signs that are impossible to miss: from sweet, flirty, and cute messages to a simple “okay” at the end of the message.

Becoming colder isn’t just a woman’s way that you blew it, but it’s also their way of saying that you should probably stop trying to make something happen along those lines.

Just be careful to not mistake being colder for the limitations of chatting and messaging online.

Some women are really more engaged in real life compared to online, so don’t always think getting a short response is proof you blew it.

If you’ve started getting one-word replies to your sentences though… that’s probably a sign you should stop trying.

5) There are A Lot Of Ditched Plans

Missing a date or two by itself usually isn’t a problem – I’ve had plenty of emergencies crop up that got in the way of meetups before.

However, if a guy blows it (and especially if we have scheduled stuff in advance) a woman is not going to bother showing up. They won’t leave them hanging, but they’ll definitely be less enthusiastic about hanging out with them overall.

This is particularly obvious if someone keeps inviting them to hang out if they’re in the area: even if they were there, they’ll usually turn it down.

You can never make concrete plans with a girl you blew it with, and she’ll break off plans with you at the last minute if she has to.

6) They’re Not Paying Attention To You, Even When You’re Together

If a woman is really into a guy, they make sure that they know. They pay attention to them, they engage in the conversation, and they make it very clear that they’re the ones on their mind right now.

But if they don’t, it’s all too easy for them to check their phone, talk to someone else, or do anything aside from paying attention to them.

It’s even more apparent if they blow something spectacularly: at that point, they’ve lost them.

If you’re on a date and you think that you blew it, start noticing how engaged the woman is with you.

Is she asking you questions, not simply replying to what you have to say? Do they make eye contact? How often have they checked their phone? If their attention isn’t on you anymore, it’s likely that you already blew it.

7) She Sounds Bored

Vocal intonation carries a lot of weight in conversation, and if you’re perceptive enough, you can literally hear the boredom a girl will have with you once you blow it.

They’ll sound dry, disinterested, and generally dismissive of what you have to say. Some women are nicer about this and still try to talk to you, but after a while, it becomes abundantly clear that they just want the conversation to end.

Admittedly, this is a sign that can be more difficult to figure out if the girl’s not trying to hurt your feelings.

In these situations, pay attention to what exactly the two of you are talking about: if she’s deliberately avoiding topics that require you to elaborate or talk more, then you already have a problem there.

8) They Suddenly Want To Leave Or Do Other Things

A great connection between two people is generally not something either of them would want to cut short.

They’re having a lot of fun together, so why not get the most out of it as possible?

This is why wanting to cut the date short or leaving to do other things can be a pretty strong sign that you blew it: whatever you did, they don’t want to hang out any second longer.

There are different ways a woman can go about this. Some are more gentle, probably making up an excuse about why they need to leave early.

Others are more direct, just saying that they don’t feel like the date is going well. And if you really blew it spectacularly, you might just turn around and see that she’s already gone.

9) They Tell You That You Blew It

On the topic of women’s approaches to bad dates… sometimes the clearest sign that you blew it with a girl is if they tell you.

It could be out of consideration for your feelings or that you blew it so spectacularly that she just had to say something, but either way this sign is pretty conclusive and hard to miss.

This doesn’t always occur immediately either.

The few times women will tell guys that they blew their chances usually happens long after the fact they’ve stopped dating, either because they lost interest or the dates just fizzled out.

Girls rarely tell someone being actively awful that they blew it: in those situations, they’d rather just cut their losses and run.

10) She Starts Talking About Other People

Women generally don’t like talking about other people – especially guys – if they’re starting to see someone, since the point is to learn more about the other person.

But if the guy blew his chances, they don’t really feel like they want to talk about themselves anymore. They will usually talk about other people, or off-handedly mention other guys in the conversation.

They are treating you like a friend they can gossip about other people with.

Bringing other people into the conversation can be a sign that she’s no longer interested in opening up to you, and other people are the best way to fill up the space without having to overtly bring the conversation to a halt.

Once she starts mentioning so-and-so from her workplace, take note guys: you may just have missed your chance.

11) You Get Ghosted

If you’re looking for the most obvious sign that you blew it, it has to be being ghosted.

No texts, no calls, no anything – if that’s what your relationship has gotten to, it’s a sign that you blew it.

While I’m not an advocate of ghosting myself, sometimes it can be the only solution that can get the message across that things are finally over.

Being ghosted because you blew it will be a little more obvious because this usually means they’ll cut off contact with you all at once, versus gradual lessening of contact if they’re losing interest.

If you blew it really badly, they can even just block you entirely to make sure that you never contact them in the future.

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