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What is a consummate gentleman? A quick google search of the word ‘consummate’ will inform you that it means “to make (marital union) complete by sexual intercourse” as a verb, or as an adjective “complete in every detail” (put more simply, it means perfect).
As you might imagine when speaking of a consummate gentleman, it is the latter definition that applies. But what exactly defines a consummate or perfect gentleman?
In this post, we dive into it by giving you 20 traits of such a gentleman. Of course, the list is not exhaustive but should serve as a guide for those of you aspiring to be one.
So without further ado, let’s take a look at 20 traits of a consummate gentleman.
01 Has good manners
While it is about more than holding a door or pulling out a chair for a lady, having good manners is undoubtedly a trait of a consummate gentleman.
A consummate gentleman knows how to behave in front of other people and especially the ladies. You know, the old school way where you offer her your arm, pay for her dinner and take off her shoes before bed.
02 Is polite
Yes, this may seem similar to the previous point but there is a difference between good manners and politeness.
Being polite requires more than simply a set of accepted good behaviors; it is about being sensitive to other people’s feelings and actions.
For example, being respectful towards others and not disturbing them when they are studying. being sympathetic to another’s emotions even if you do not completely understand them.
Being polite is a sign of a gentleman and it is also a trait that ladies appreciate in men.
03 Is a good listener
Every true gentleman knows that there is little more charming than being a good listener.
Young men often feel the need to be loud and to display how well-mannered they are through their words.
A truly consummate gentleman, on the other hand, listens more than he speaks. He doesn’t feel the need to show off in any way.
He simply listens to what others have to say and tries to understand them first before replying.
This seems like something so simple, and it is. That said, many young men would do well to take this on board.
04 Treats others with respect
It goes without saying that a gentleman should be respectful to others. But what exactly does this entail?
In the context of this post, it means that he appreciates others’ points of view and does not feel offended if they are challenged by his opinions.
Nor does he belittle others with opinions that he sees as incorrect or even ridiculous. A consummate gentleman appreciates that everyone is entitled to an opinion and keeps an open mind.
05 Has strong principles
At the same time, a gentleman is not someone who agrees with everyone. He has principles that he believes strongly in.
He does not force these on others but strives to live by his own moral code. He is harder on himself and more forgiving of others.
That’s not to say that a gentleman is dogmatic. With experience and learning, a gentleman’s principles can change. Not because he is weak, but because he is open-minded, considered, and always striving to learn more and be better.
06 Avoids gossiping
It is easy to see why gossiping can be a problem. According to psychologists, it is a very destructive and toxic behavior.
Workplaces and schools are filled with people who gossip (and don’t even realize it).
A complete gentleman is above gossip and steers clear of it if at all possible. He knows that rumors are often untrue and refrains from commenting on or judging people on what may be false.
Even if something is true, he knows that each person has their own motives, of which he is probably unaware, and tries not to judge them.
07 Dresses well
It should come as no surprise that a real gentleman dresses well. He is not vain but takes pride in how he appears and considers being neat and put together good manners.
Dressing well not only demonstrates that he is an educated, refined gentleman, but it also gives others the impression that he has a good head on his shoulders.
It should be noted that we do not mean that a gentleman always wears a suit or something like that but that he is considerate in the way that he dresses.
08 Is not afraid to stand up for people
While a gentleman is open, considerate of others’ feelings, and avoids judging, this does not mean he is a sheep; quite the opposite in fact.
A gentleman stands up for people who are being bullied or criticized. He is unafraid to put himself in the line of fire and takes a bullet for someone else when necessary.
This is because he genuinely appreciates other people and, being a gentleman, would not want to see anyone being mistreated.
09 Is a good communicator
it goes without saying that to be considered a gentleman, you must be a good commuincator. Good communication is vital because it is the only way that you can truly connect with others and be understood by them.
A true gentleman not only speaks well but, as mentioned previously, also listens. He pays attention to what others are saying and understands their feelings and emotions.
10 Is a good father
There is little more important to a gentleman than his family. He always strives to be a good father and does not shy away from the responsibility bestowed upon him.
He takes the best of his time from work and makes sure that he is there for his family and kids. He does not depend on others but does so because he truly believes that it matters to them.
11 Is a good son
For a similar reason, a gentleman is a good son. He knows and appreciates the work and effort that it takes to raise a child, even if he doesn’t have any of his own.
He pays attention to how often he contacts his parents, and their feelings and helps them in any way he can.
While he may not always agree with them and knows it is important that he carve his own path in life, he is considerate of their views and never disrespectful.
12 Is confident and happy to be himself
A gentleman is a person who is confident enough to know exactly who he is. He does not try to be someone else but does not shy away from other people’s opinions.
Rather than comparing himself to others, he strives to be the best version of himself and be a little better every day.
13 Can make people laugh
A gentleman can make people laugh. This is because he does not take himself too seriously.
He knows that life is short and although he has big dreams, he does not focus on his own life and happiness so much.
He realizes that everyone needs cheering up and taking things too seriously all the time can be a recipe for despair.
He uses his skills of intuition and listening to give people a good laugh.
14 Has a positive attitude
A gentleman has a positive attitude. He knows that life is difficult and there will be ups and downs, but he strives to remain positive.
If there is something that you have to be optimistic about, it is life itself.
He realizes that the ups and downs of life are inevitable and that the only thing that is truly under his control is himself and the attitude with which he approaches life.
15 Takes care of himself
While many of the previous points would suggest that a gentleman is selfless, he also takes care of himself.
He knows that by eating a balanced diet, exercising, taking time to relax, and maintaining his health, he can be a better man for himself and the people around him.
16 Is a great friend – to his family and friends
A gentleman is a great friend. He cherishes, protects, and helps the people closest to him.
He even sometimes puts their needs and happiness above his own.
Your secret is safe with a gentleman and his word means a lot to him. Being a loyal friend is part of being a gentleman.
He knows that it is important to stick with his friends when times are tough and give them the support they need.
17 Is humble
Unlike many young men aspiring to make themselves known, a consummate gentleman never boasts or brags. He simply does not feel the need to do so.
A gentleman is humble but also confident. He has good self-esteem and knows that he is a good man, but he avoids bragging.
18 Is self-aware
A gentleman is self-aware. He knows what is going on with himself and other people and does not need to make up reasons for his behavior.
Self-awareness is complex and difficult to attain. A gentleman sees this as working progress and knows that is the key to true self-development.
19 Is generous
A gentleman is generous. He knows that generosity is a form of personal strength.
That said, he does not give in order to get others’ approval.
He knows that others are sometimes less fortunate than him and may need a helping hand from time to time.
20 Knows that being a gentleman is a journey rather than a destination
A real gentleman is always striving to learn and be better. He never considers his development complete but more a work in progress.
He chooses to embrace and enjoy the journey.
That’s it for today, fellas. Are there any traits that we missed? If so, feel free to let us know in the comments below!