Blocking someone is admittedly one of the more obvious signs that someone isn’t interested in you anymore: and all the more painful if it’s someone that you’ve been pursuing or even in a relationship with for a while.
In a world and culture where everyone is on socials, being blocked can be a pretty painful experience.
For the gents who have found themselves in this situation, what are the odds that she’ll come back after blocking you? Not particularly high.
So here’s what you can do next.
1) Just Leave Her Alone
First things first: she blocked you, so respect that decision.
I know it’s tempting to message and ask why, but most social media platforms have pretty blanket-state policies in terms of blocking.
Trying to force your way in isn’t a good look for you – and at worst, grounds for criminal charges.
So that means no making alternate accounts to message her. No asking friends to do it for you. No reaching out through other social media platforms.
No calls, texts, post-its at work… you get the idea. A block is her wanting space from you, so give her all the space that you can. That helps make the next steps a lot easier.
2) Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
The second thing you need to do is to close off any avenues that might tempt you to message her.
Sure, the block is fine, and you may be too devastated/emotionally numb to try and message her right away, but it’s better to deny yourself any opportunity to contact her.
And in the age of social media, that means wiping your feed and profile clean.
Fortunately, most social media platforms have tools in place that can help make this process a lot easier. You can help squelch all mentions of her from your profile or even just block her yourself.
If you have the time and patience for it, you can also go through your own socials for manual deletion of every mention of that person, but try not to get hung over the process too much.
3) Sit And Silence
After that’s all done, you should absolutely just give yourself some time.
I mean this literally – stare blankly into space and just let all of it sit there.
I personally have spent an entire weekend in bed in a half-lit room listening to Blink-182 on repeat, while subsisting on a diet of UberEats and instant noodles.
This particular period is going to be ugly. Believe me, I would love to have tips on how to make this step a little cleaner and a lot less embarrassing to think about in hindsight, but it’s a necessary part of the grieving process.
Feelings need to be felt, and things have to hurt before they heal.
4) Clean Yourself Up
Eventually, you’ll find yourself being drawn back to … well, life.
Whatever the cause may be, it’s time for you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, clean the entire room, and otherwise just try to take stock of what you have.
Don’t worry about being presentable, there’s plenty of time for that later.
For this stage, just take care of yourself.
You don’t have to do this alone either: family and friends will be some of the most important people in your life for a while, and you’ll need all their help. She may have blocked you from her life, but don’t let that block you from living a life of your own.
It’s likely that after such a massive emotional blow, you may have kept to yourself a little more than usual.
This is fine, but remember that no person is an island. And by no means should a block also work as an anchor that prevents your ship from sailing to parts previously known.
And I mean that seriously – parts that are previously known.
This step is crucial to get you out of the mindset that the block (and she) is something that you need to dwell over.
Other people deserve, demand, and perhaps can keep your attention aside from her, and resocializing is a great way to test out what you can do in her absence.
6) … But Keep The Quiet Moments
Remember the sitting and silence stage?
Well, I have news for you: that sticks around for a while. How long will really depend on the person, but it’ll always stick around for a while.
But it’s also one of those things that are usually at their ugliest in the earlier stages: with time, and other things to think about and do, it gets easier.
For me, these quiet moments are essential to just keep my perspective on where I’m at, compared to where I’ve been – or could’ve been, if she didn’t block me.
These quiet moments give you an appreciation for everything that’s happened, some much-needed time for self-reflection, and overall just be a good way to pace yourself.
7) Go Back On Social Media
This might be a little bit strange of a step, but it’s one that I’ve personally found very useful: be friends again with your social media.
Not with her, mind you, just social media in general. It’s all right to take some time off socials and even use social media less after getting blocked, but again, your socials don’t revolve around one person.
It’s at this stage that you start to realize that the block doesn’t just help them: it can help you as well.
While there can be some holes that can slip up like getting tags or random photos with mutuals, learning how to be comfortable on social media again can help you get some peace of mind with that block.
8) Do A Little Self-Reflection
So now that you’re in a somewhat stable place, it’s time to do a little processing of your own.
All of the previous steps really didn’t give too much time for self-reflection, after all.
It’s a little difficult to look at yourself with a critical eye if that eye’s half-swollen with tears: so now things are clearer to see, you can finally look at yourself.
Don’t just ask yourself “will she come back after blocking me?” – ask yourself the questions that matter.
“Why did I get blocked?” “Is there a way I could prevent similar situations with someone else in the future?” “Can I make peace with the fact that she just doesn’t want me around?”
These are all tough questions, and they may never get answered. But the important part is that you try.
9) Change Your Settings, If You Have To
One of the first things that I advised you to do is to keep your profile clear of all mentions of her.
That was more or less a necessity in the early stages, but it might not be once you’ve managed to process things.
Actively keeping someone out can be a huge mental drain, and it’s something that might not even be necessary as time goes by.
Again, in no way am I telling you to message this person.
Even if they unblock you, just leave them be.
They made their decision, now you make yours. Recognize that what happened is something that you’ll just have to live with, then go and do your own thing.
10) Go Outside
I can’t stress this enough: going outside may be one of the best ways to counteract the hold that your screen has on you.
Things like being blocked can seem so far away when you’re out and about, and it’s one of the most reliable ways to really tear yourself away from your screen.
Take a friend! Find a family member. Walk someone else’s dog.
The point of this is to do things that don’t involve your phone, or things that don’t bring her into your memory.
This process is supposed to be gradual and doesn’t happen all at once, so take your time and you’ll get there eventually.
11) Say Hello, If She Comes Back
Given all of this, there is no guarantee that she won’t come back after a while. It can be for a long time, or it can take less time than you think.
All of the steps I mentioned above are really for your own benefit – but most importantly, it puts you in the best possible state of mind to deal with a situation if she does come back.
As for what you’ll do, well, that’s really something that you’ll have to figure out.
You may find that your feelings towards this person may have changed drastically since they blocked you, and their coming back doesn’t really do anything.
Or maybe you’ve got a new perspective on yourself in all that time. Either way, if they come back, it’s only polite to say hello. After that… well, that’s up to you.