So you’re good friends. Everything’s going great, except your heart suddenly starts to beat fast whenever you’re around her.
You want to know if she has butterflies in her tummy too. There’s nothing much you can do about it unless you add up all the signs and talk to each other about how you see the friendship.
Though there are several ways to confess to a girl, you can already tell by the way she acts if she knows that you like her.
When you pay attention to her mannerisms and language, you can navigate your friendship better and see the situation for what it is.
If The Feelings Are Not Mutual:
1) She Friend Zones You
No one likes being in the friend zone – that weird state of friendship where one wants to stay as friends, while the other wants something a bit more. It’s definitely not a fun place to be.
A tell-tale sign that a girl doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and wants to friendzone you is the constant group hang. She tries to avoid alone time with you, so that you don’t interpret it as something romantic.
She might even offer to be your matchmaker. She’ll try to set you up with people that she’s acquainted with in an attempt to tell you that you’d be better off with someone else.
They want you to be genuinely happy with someone – and she knows that it can’t be with her.
2) She Uses You
There are different indicators that a girl is just using you because they know that they can easily manipulate your feelings. For one, they love the attention.
It’s nice to have someone around that constantly compliments them, although they might also just be using you to make their ex jealous.
She might also want to live a high life. That’s why she makes you pay for the bills whenever you two eat out, go shopping, or travel.
She might even come up with lame excuses for you to pay for her phone bill. Clearly, she’s exploiting you for your money.
A relationship is a two-way street. If you’re the only one investing so many resources (e.g., time, money, energy), it’s time to realize your worth.
3) She Hints That She’s Not Interested
While there is some truth to the saying, “There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase,” there comes a point when you have to admit to yourself that it might just be a wild goose chase.
Notice the subtleties in the girl that you’re trying to win over. Does she give one-word answers? Does she flake on you? Do you always initiate the conversation?
One of my best girlfriends has been in this kind of situation before. This guy who had an obvious crush on her would text her “What are you doing now?” multiple times a day.
We actually laughed about how frequently this guy messaged her!
She would take hours to reply, but never really had it in her heart to straight up reject him.
The fact that he kept going for weeks on end showed that he was blinded by his self-delusions.
With hindsight, of course, she knew that she should’ve just directly communicated that she wasn’t interested.
4) She Makes Excuses
Cut your losses as soon as you recognize the lack of interest from the girl you’re infatuated with. Trust me, no woman makes endless excuses to not hang out with their crush.
So if you notice that she barely makes time for you and can never slate you in her day, she’s telling you that she isn’t interested.
It’s important to respect a girl’s consent whenever she says “No” to multiple invites. If they actually wanted to hang out with you, they’d reschedule or cancel their plans without hesitation.
If She’s Not Sure of Her Feelings:
5) She Might Be Awkward Around You
It takes time for girls to admit their feelings, especially to themselves.
Once they notice that they’re starting to take an interest in someone, they hide their feelings because they’re in denial.
That’s why she might be awkward around you as she’s having conflicting emotions.
If this is the case, show off your funny bone as humor always takes the awkwardness out of any situation.
Some girls might even try too hard and act cool around you. This, then, leads to awkward moments.
For example, if you happen to take the same route to either school or work at the same time every day, she might force some small talk with you.
This is her trying to take baby steps to ease into your presence, knowing that you like her.
6) She May Ignore You for a While
If the girl starts ignoring you after she finds out that you like her, you may have asked too soon. She needs more time to think about commitment, so give her the space she needs. Do not be desperate.
Don’t bombard her with messages and calls as this would only send her running the opposite direction. Wait until she’s ready.
Distance makes a lot of things clearer.
This is honestly a coping mechanism that girls do when they start to get confused about someone. They need time to process their thoughts and unpack their feelings.
They can never guarantee that it will take them a few hours or days, but they will make sure to reassure the person that they’re ignoring that it’s okay.
7) She Talks to Her Friends About You
If a girl has even just a little bit of interest in you, she won’t be shy when it comes to talking about you to her friends. She’s comfortable enough to talk about you.
Women tell their girlfriends everything. If you say a pick-up line, she tells a friend.
If you make plans, she calls a friend.
If she doesn’t know what to reply, she asks a friend.
Her friends’ insights and validation matter to her, so don’t forget to win them over as well.
One good side to this is that if you think there’s something wrong between you and your girl crush, you can always ask her friends.
They won’t hold back when it comes to telling you about your mistakes.
8) She Asks About Other Girls in Your Life
Women want to know everything about their crush (that’s why we’re self-proclaimed professional stalkers).
For a girl to feel more confident about her place in your life, she tends to ask more about the people around you. Does she ask about the girls you’ve dated in the past?
Has she asked about the traits you’re looking for in a partner and your non-negotiables? What stories have you told her about your upbringing?
To better gauge if you’re a good fit for her, she also opens up to you.
She’ll judge from your reactions and replies if your perception of her has changed if you find out more about her past, her standards, and other details in her personal life that even her friends don’t know.
If the rapport is high, she’ll feel calmer and more secure around you.
If She Likes You Back:
9) She Wants to be Around You Often
Despite her busy schedule, she makes time for you regularly – whether it’s an in-person date, a phone call, or a sweet text. She also makes the effort to have “alone time” with just the two of you.
During your dates, her body language is inviting as she leans to you and places her hand next to yours. This may be a sign that she’s waiting for you to make the next move.
Now, this part might seem like an overkill, but my best girlfriend told me that when she was in university, she made sure to enlist in the same classes as her crush. Don’t judge. It was only a matter of time before she noticed that he would choose the seat beside her and then ask if she was available to help him out with his homework – sometimes she said yes and on other times I made up an excuse. She knew she liked him, but she says that she didn’t want to seem easy to get.
10) She’s Flirtatious
She’s definitely flirting if she glances at you from across the room, laughs at your corny jokes a lot, teases you, texts you random stuff, playfully touches you, and makes an effort to look good if she knows that you’ll see her.
She goes the extra mile to look on point in order to impress you.
If you go on a date, pay special attention to the texts that follow. If she says yes to a second date and keeps the conversation going, you can inject some flirty texts here and there.
See if she reciprocates, although some girls do take a bit of warming up before they send flirty texts back.
11) She Remembers the Little Things
Girls take mental notes of everything.
She notices if you remember small details about her like her birthday, what age she learned how to ride a bike, what she had for breakfast, and even her opinions on things. This assures her that you’re genuinely interested in her.
If she likes you back, she also listens intently. She’s fixated on your eyes and every word that you have to say. She cares about you.
Take note, however, that she may also be waiting for a good time to talk about each other’s feelings.
12) She Confesses Reciprocation
Lucky you. After all the courting, conversations, and trying to make her fall in love with you, she finally tells you that the feelings are mutual.
So should this too-good-to-be-true day happen to you, please don’t be reckless. Show that it’s a safe place for her to open up. Take things easy, and invite her out on a date for starters. Be yourself, then let time do its thing.