In the world of dating, there is a delicate balance that needs to be maintained.
In any relationship, however, one partner is bound to be more clingy than the other — whether intentionally or unintentionally.
If your lady is clingy, you’ll have to strike a balance between being sensitive to your girlfriend’s needs while not allowing yourself to submit to her every needy request.
It’s a difficult balance that I experienced a few times as a younger man. However, there are signs and things you can do to resolve this to make your life easier and the relationship stronger.
Read on for 10 signs you have a clingy girlfriend and what you can do about it!
01 She’s constantly checking in on you.
This can be a telltale sign of a clingy girlfriend, especially if this behavior is coupled with an unwillingness to let you have your own time or spend it with your guy friends.
If your girlfriend constantly calls, texts and emails you, this can be a sign of insecurity.
It can pretty exhausting.
Being clingy and insecure is never a good combination.
Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into her negative vibes — instead, show her some love and understanding but make sure to speak openly about how you feel.
02 She has trouble making decisions without your input.
If your girlfriend can’t make decisions without getting your feedback, then there’s a strong chance that she might be a tad too reliant on you.
This is a big red flag if you find yourself constantly having to give your opinion on every little thing she has to make a decision about.
Let’s be clear here, it’s completely normal to want your significant other’s opinion, but it’s a problem if you find yourself making all the big decisions in the relationship.
A healthy relationship is one in which both partners balance each other out and make decisions together.
If your girlfriend isn’t able to make decisions on her own, you should take note of this and try to draw her out a little bit to give her some space to make her own choices.
03 She always wants to know what you’re doing in great detail
This is also a sure sign of low self-esteem.
A normal, healthy relationship involves trust and respect, and your lady friend may be testing you by asking these questions and creating a rift in your trust.
Of course, she should trust that you’re keeping yourself safe and not be constantly worried about where you are and who you’re with.
If you find that she is overly worried and curious about your whereabouts and whom you’re with, you may have a clingy girlfriend on your hands.
Try to reassure her that you’re trustworthy and don’t harbor any ill intentions.
Keep in mind this may take some time, especially if she has been hurt by someone else in the past. Or worse still, if you broke her trust.
04 She feels a strong need to reassure you of her love and commitment.
A normal, healthy relationship involves trust and respect and your lady friend should show you that she trusts you by not constantly reassuring you of her feelings.
If she feels the need to reassure you, she’s showing that she feels insecure and needs reassurance herself.
If she is constantly reassuring you of her love and commitment, it’s likely that she feels insecure in the relationship and needs reassurance herself.
Her constant reassurance may not be a sign of her love and commitment, but a sign that she needs more stability and support.
05 She becomes jealous easily, even over seemingly innocuous things.
If your girlfriend becomes jealous easily, even over seemingly innocuous things, there’s a good chance that she may be clingy.
Look, it’s normal for your girlfriend to get jealous from time to time.
However, if she constantly becomes jealous over things that don’t warrant it, it’s a sign that she needs to let go of you a little bit and find her own ground again.
Jealousy is a sign that someone feels threatened and needs to find a way to feel more secure and confident.
If your girlfriend becomes jealous over things that you don’t think are a big deal, it’s likely that she feels threatened and insecure in the relationship.
Try to understand things from her point of view rather than dismissing her feelings as illogical. Then, express your feelings in a polite, clear manner.
Clear communication and trust are the basis of a healthy relationship and they truly go hand-in-hand. It’s hard, if not impossible, to have one without the other.
06 She tries to have an unreasonable amount of control over the relationship.
If she is constantly trying to make the decisions, set the rules, and be the one to set the pace in the relationship, it may be a bad sign.
Those with insecurities often feel a great desire to control as much as they can.
There should be a healthy balance of both partners trying to make important relationship decisions, setting rules, and setting the pace of the relationship.
If your girlfriend is trying to have an unreasonable amount of control, you may want to consider talking to her about it and letting her know that you need to be an equal partner in the relationship.
07 She feels uncomfortable when you spend time with your friends or family alone.
It’s normal for a girlfriend to want to spend time with you when you’re out and about, but if she feels uncomfortable when you spend time alone with your friends or family, she may be a tad too reliant on you.
You shouldn’t let your lady friend dictate what you need to do in your own time.
If you want to spend time alone with your friends or family, do it.
If your girlfriend is feeling uncomfortable about your time alone with your friends or family, try, again, to reassure her that you’re trustworthy and have no ill intentions but don’t sacrifice so much that you don’t see your friends and family as much as you would like.
08 She frequently accuses you of cheating.
It’s normal to get jealous in a relationship, but if she frequently accuses you of cheating, it’s not a good sign.
If she does this, it’s likely that she feels very threatened and insecure in the relationship.
Again, clear, calm communication is essential here. Be patient; this is a strong sign and building trust will take time.
09 She nags you about the dumbest things.
If your girlfriend nags you about the dumbest things, it’s a bad sign.
She is likely craving attention more than anything.
Try to avoid arguing with your lady friend, even if what she is nagging about seems silly to you so that you don’t build up resentment towards her over small things.
Realize that what she is nagging you about is probably not all that important to her, but your attention is.
10 She’s never far from your phone
If your girlfriend is constantly on your phone and never far from it, it may be a sign that she’s insecure in the relationship.
This is especially true if she checks your messages or social media activity.
While you shouldn’t be hiding anything in the first place, this is a pretty serious invasion of your privacy.
You will need to talk to her about this as soon as possible so that it doesn’t get out of hand.
To conclude, having a clingy girlfriend can be exhausting but it is important to note that it often stems from a lack of self-esteem or past events.
The first step in dealing with it is to look at the signs. Do any of the above signs sound familiar?
Then, work on making it better through honesty, clear communication, and setting boundaries to which you both agree. You need to be patient.
However, it is also important that you don’t make too many compromises. For example, you can’t always be messaging her to let her know what you are doing or where you are. If you do this, it will be miserable and you will end up resenting her.
If after some time your efforts fail, it may be best to take a step back and reconsider the relationship.
As always, I hope you found this post helpful. Of course, there may be other signs we missed. If you know of some more signs of a clingy girlfriend, we’d love for you to share them in the comments below!