Do you ever feel like you’re being ghosted?
You go out on a date with a girl, hit it off well and then… nothing. She just vanishes.
It feels like she fell down a black hole with no sign of reemerging.
Asking her what happened or directly asking her why she’s not responding to your texts is too awkward, so you just leave it at that — until the next time you meet.
This is how ghosting usually works: The girl acts interested in the guy for a few dates and then disappears for good after getting what she wants from him (e.g., access to his social circle, free dinners, etc.).
Unfortunately, most men don’t know why this happens and repeatedly make the same mistakes in their dating lives.
We’re here to help change that by explaining 14 reasons why she acts interested but disappears so you won’t make the same mistake again should such a situation arise again.
1) She’s just not that into you.
Ghosting happens when a girl likes you but doesn’t like you enough to continue seeing you.
The ambiguous nature of ghosting makes it so hard to deal with when it happens.
Worse, it can be tricky to understand why a girl ghosted you unless you take a step back and try to look at the situation from her perspective.
How did your date actually go? Did you have a good conversation? Did you talk most of the time while she hardly got a word in?
If you look back and think that maybe the date wasn’t as good as you first thought, then it’s likely that she wasn’t that into you.
Girls can be very particular, and they have their tastes and preferences when it comes to men.
The truth is, there may have been something you did on the date that turned her off, which is why she has gone quiet.
Even though she appeared like she liked you to start with, people can’t control their emotions when they encounter something that turns them off.
Don’t worry, it happens to the best of men. It’s not like everyone can like you and be attracted to you.
2) She’s looking for an opportunity to hook up.
Let’s face it: Dating apps are not the best place to build long-term connections.
If you met this girl on a dating app, perhaps she was just looking for fun.
This is why she appeared interested initially because she wanted to hook up.
But now the fun is over, she has disappeared because she got what she wanted.
It sucks, but she may be in a different stage of life to you.
She might be young, or she has just got out of a serious relationship, and all she wants is some fun.
3) You just can’t be bothered dating
Let’s say you went on a couple of dates with a girl and everything was going great.
You were excited to see each other again; she seemed to be into you too. But after a few dates, things just stopped.
You tried calling her, but she never answered your calls. You sent her a few texts, but they went unanswered.
You tried to meet up with her again, but she always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong; she just lost interest.
Like you, girls also have bad days, are not always in a good mood, and don’t always have time to go on another date.
And, unfortunately, you can’t do anything about it. If she liked you enough to go on a few dates with you but lost interest after that, she’ll probably ghost you to save herself the effort of ending the relationship.
4) You’re not her type
Not every girl is into the same type of guy.
While you think she would be a perfect fit for you, she might be looking for someone with different characteristics.
Perhaps she believes she is a high-value woman who deserves a high-class man.
Little does she know that her standards are way too high.
Or perhaps she doesn’t know what she wants.
Unlike you, she might not be able to figure out what she’s looking for, which might lead to her ghosting you after a couple of dates.
So when you first started dating, she thought that you’re a nice guy so she may as well give you a chance.
But then she suddenly realized that you’re just not your type. It’s nothing against you, people just have their own preferences.
You can’t control what she’s looking for in a guy, so your best bet is to remain patient and hope that the right type of girl for you eventually comes around.
5) She thinks you’re too shy/introverted
Ghosting happens when a girl loses interest, not when she’s trying to annoy you.
She probably thinks you’re too shy/introverted to be able to handle honest feedback and would prefer to leave things open-ended so you won’t feel hurt.
Unfortunately, this is a very common mistake many guys make and can be difficult to overcome.
You can try to be more outgoing and talkative, but it’s better to learn how to read a girl’s nonverbal signals so you know when she’s into you and when she’s not.
6) She met another guy
Like you, single girls are often dating other guys to find the right type of person to settle down with.
If you had a great first date but never heard from her again, she probably found another guy to go out with and is now focusing on him.
While she might not want to hurt your feelings, ghosting is a pretty common way to avoid the awkwardness of telling you she’s no longer interested.
If this happens to you, try not to take it personally. It’s not you, it’s her: Everyone has different dating goals and expectations, and not everyone is right for each other.
7) She’s waiting for you to make a move
Perhaps she hasn’t contacted you because she is waiting for you to contact her and make a move.
This is a grave mistake many men make. They think that if the girl doesn’t contact them, then they don’t like them.
But this just isn’t true at all. It’s actually up to the man to make the approach and contact a woman.
She may have assumed you don’t like her if you haven’t contacted her.
Contact her now and let her know you want to see her again. You might be surprised by her response.
8) She just ended a relationship and is not ready to date anyone
If you went on a few casual dates with a girl but never heard from her again, she may be just not ready to date anyone.
She may have just broken up with her long-term boyfriend and isn’t ready to enter into another relationship.
Letting her take her time and heal before getting into a new relationship is better.
In such a situation, it would be best to ask her how she’s doing and if she’s okay. She will probably appreciate your concern and let you know what’s going on in her life.
9) She’s still in love with her ex
She might be in love with her ex and not over him.
She may be dating other guys to try to forget him, but she’s still thinking about him. If you go on a few dates with her and she never contacts you again, it’s probably because she’s not over him yet.
Don’t take it personally. It’s usually better to move on and find someone really interested in you.
10) She has an illness or other major problems that are keeping her busy
Ghosting can also occur when a girl has an illness or another major problem that is keeping her busy.
For example, she could have a sick family member, or she could face some financial problems at work.
It’s possible that she just doesn’t want to deal with any more drama in her life and hasn’t been able to contact you.
11) She may have been too busy to contact you
Ghosting can occur when a girl is too busy to contact you.
She may be working on a big project at work, or she could have recently started a new job that keeps her very busy.
It’s possible that she just hasn’t had the time to get back in touch with you.
12) She’s in a relationship with someone else and is not ready to tell you yet
Ghosting can occur when a girl isn’t ready to tell you that she’s seeing someone else.
It’s possible that she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so she’s trying to avoid telling you about her new boyfriend.
If this happens, don’t take it personally since it has nothing to do with you. It’s just because she isn’t ready for the other person in her life yet — and doesn’t want him or her around right now.
13) She thinks you’re not ready for a relationship
A girl can disappear when she thinks you’re not ready for a relationship.
She may be worried that getting into a relationship will just be too much for you.
It’s possible that she doesn’t want to make things more complicated than they need to be, so she’s trying to avoid being in a relationship with you.
14) She thinks you’re a player
A girl can disappear when she thinks you’re a player.
She may be worried that getting into a relationship with you will just be too much work.
It’s possible that she thinks being in a relationship with you will cause her more problems than it’s worth.
She may think that you’re already seeing other girls and she just doesn’t want to get involved in that mess.
She also may think that you would never be able to commit fully to her.
Unfortunately, ghosting happens more often than we’d like to admit.
Fortunately, you can prevent it by recognizing the signs and understanding why it happens.
If you notice a girl interested in you but isn’t responding to your texts or calls, ask her out on a date again or why she’s not responding to you.
If she ghosted you, she’ll probably appreciate your directness and tell you that she’s not interested.