12 unfortunate signs you’re not the only guy she is talking to

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Dating in the digital age comes with its perks and challenges. While it’s easier than ever to meet new people, that abundance of options can be a blessing and a curse.

With so many dating apps and websites out there, it’s easy to feel like you need to compete with other guys to win a girl’s attention.

If you feel the girl you’re talking to is flirting with or getting a little too friendly with other guys too then we’re here to help you figure out what’s really going on.

Here are some red flags that she may be talking to another guy…

1) She Doesn’t Respond Immediately When You Message Her

If you’re regularly messaging a girl you like and getting no response, it could be a sign that she’s getting inundated with messages and is trying to sort through them all (not a great sign), or she’s only talking to a few guys and is prioritizing the others.

If she doesn’t respond immediately but does get back to you within, say, 24 hours, she’s probably just really busy and doesn’t want to let you down by not getting back to you.

If, however, you message a girl and she doesn’t respond for days, weeks, or months, you can bet that she’s communicating with a ton of other guys or she’s not interested in you.

2) She Cancels Plans With No Excuse

If a girl regularly cancels plans with you, it could just mean that she’s a flaky person (or maybe she’s just really busy).

However, if a girl regularly cancels plans with you but seems to still go out a lot (you might see that on social media), then she is probably going out with other guys that are not you.

While it’s normal to reschedule plans if something unexpected comes up, it’s not normal to consistently cancel plans with the same person.

This is disrespectful.

If you have a weekly date with a girl and she’s constantly cancelling those plans, you’re probably low on her priority list.

3) She Doesn’t Feel Comfortable Showing You Her World

A girl that’s talking to other guys probably wants to keep her options open, so if you never see her hanging out anywhere but at your place, it could mean that she doesn’t feel comfortable showing you her world yet.

While it’s normal for new couples to spend a lot of time together at first and then start to branch out (i.e. hanging with friends, going out with coworkers, etc.), if a girl only wants to hang out at your place and doesn’t want you hanging out with other friends, it could be a sign that she isn’t as into you as you think.

It’s a warning sign that she doesn’t want anyone to see you two in public, because she is dating other guys or at least, she wants to keep her options open.

4) She Doesn’t Talk About Her Dating Life

If a girl doesn’t talk about her dating life with you, you may feel like she doesn’t want you to know about her other guys.

If you’re definitely dating each other casually, then it’s normal to be open about whether you’re meeting new people or using online dating apps.

However, this is typically more of a sign that she doesn’t want to get into a relationship with you just yet, because she can’t spare the time to go on dates or hang out with all of her other guys.

For example, if you’ve met her on Tinder, and you ask her what her experience with Tinder is like, and she refuses to answer or seems awkward talking about it, then it’s likely that she is still on Tinder and talking to other guys.

A girl that can openly answer you and tell you that she is not using Tinder anymore, or she isn’t dating anyone else, likely is telling the truth and isn’t talking to other guys.

The key is to look at her body language and assess whether she gets awkward or nervous when you ask how her dating life is going.

5) She Doesn’t Want You to Hang Out With Her Friends

If a girl you like doesn’t want to hang out with your friends, that could be a sign that she doesn’t want you to meet other guys or girls.

If she is seeing other people, then she doesn’t necessarily want you to know about it.

For example, when you’re in a relationship with someone and you introduce them to your friends and family, then it means that you are confident in their feelings and you haven’t got anything to hide.

You want them to meet your friends and family because you know this is serious.

But if this girl doesn’t want to introduce you to her friends or family, then she might be afraid that they will talk about other guys she is seeing.

She doesn’t want to create jealousy in you, or show them all other guys she is talking to.

6) She gets a lot of texts when you are with her

If you notice that she gets a lot of texts or phone calls when you are with her, then it means she is talking to a lot of guys.

When you’re socializing with a guy you like, it’s normal for girls to put their phone away and focus on the man they are romantically attracted to.

But if this girl has a habit of checking her phone when you’re with her, this could be a sign that she is not as into you or she is still talking to other guys.

7) She never mentions you on social media

A girl probably doesn’t want other people to know about you if she’s not bragging about your relationship on social media.

If she regularly likes or comments on other guys’ posts and never mentions yours, it could be a sign that she is still talking to other guys, because she doesn’t care about showing the world that you are together (which is a red flag).

If she usually “checks in” on social media with her friends, and never does it with you, then there must be a reason.

If you’ve seen her taking photos with other guys, then it’s a sign that she’s still talking to them.

Of course, it’s normal if she doesn’t post a photo of the two of you together on social media, or only posts it once in a while, because she doesn’t want to come off “too clingy”.

But if she never posts photos with you at all on social media even after dating for 2-3 weeks, then you should probably ask why.

When two people who are dating each other take a lot of photos together, that’s an indication that they are proud to be with each other and publicly acknowledge their relationship.

If she is always in photos with the same guy, it could mean that she’s still interested in him or at least, she’s still not interested in you.

8) She never leaves her phone around you

We all know that mobile phones can’t be too far away from us, but you can take it too far.

When a girl is always by her phone, and won’t let you get close to it without her there, then it might be a sign she is afraid of what you’ll see.

If a girl is always checking her phone in public and gets upset when you try to check it, that could be a sign that she is still talking to other guys.

She doesn’t want you pawing through her phone, because she’s afraid a message from a guy will come up while you’re using it.

9) She never talks about the future

A girl that never talks about the future with you probably isn’t interested in a committed relationship with you.

She wants to keep her options open, so she doesn’t want to make plans or talk about the future with anyone else.

If you ask her about her plans for the weekend, and she responds with “I don’t know”, then it’s a sign that she’s not interested in you, because she doesn’t see you as a potential partner.

Girls LOVE talking about the future, especially with the guy she likes, but if she is not right now, then it might be cause she is planning her future with a different guy.

10) She is very hot and cold

Sometimes she chats to you constantly. Other times, you barely hear from her for over a week.

This is a bad sign because it shows that her feelings for you aren’t solid and commital.

This could mean she is seeing other guys, and when she is with those other guys, she forgets about you and doesn’t message you.

She might not want a serious relationship with you because there’s still another guy on the horizon who could potentially make her happier.

The other scenario is that she likes you, but is trying to be secretive about it. So, she acts hot sometimes because she is into you, but then she goes cold when she realizes that she wants to keep it a secret.

11) She is always taking photos with a lot of other men

If you’re seeing a girl, and she only takes photos with random men, then it’s likely that she is seeing other guys.

It’s normal to be friendly with other people you meet, but there are ways to be friendly without taking photos together.

She might not even know those guys, but she can put her arm around them for the photo like it’s no big deal.

Perhaps you’ve seen photos of her at clubs with other guys, or even on her own social media.

This is a clear sign she is talking to other guys and is keeping her options open.

12) She is always talking about her ex-boyfriends

She is always telling you about how she used to date this guy, that guy, or the other guy.

It’s normal for a girl to talk a bit about her previous relationships because they’ve taught her lessons and made her wiser.

But when she is constantly talking about ex-boyfriends in ways that cause jealousy and make you feel insecure of your relationship with her, then there could be trouble in paradise.

This shows she is thinking of other guys and may not see you as the “one and only” for her.

She is still interested in that other guy, and maybe still dating him.

What to do if she is talking to other guys: 3 tips

If you’re in a relationship with a girl, and you’re starting to think that she is talking to other guys, here’s what you can do…

1) Ask her about it directly.

You can’t always read her mind because she could be telling the truth when she says she’s not seeing anybody else, but lying about why.

But if you ask her about it directly, she can’t lie to your face.

Also, you will signal your interest in her. After all, maybe she doesn’t know or think that you’re interested in her, which is why she is talking to other guys.

If she’s not seeing other guys and it’s just a “we’re too busy” or “you know how girls are” excuse, then you should be able to tell that she is not being truthful about it.

On the other hand, if she says “yes I do talk to other guys”, then there are only two ways this can go.

First, if you’re “the one” for her (the reason for her to be faithful), then she will stop talking to other guys and make you happy. You will both agree on this.

Second, she says that she doesn’t see you both being exclusive together and you can either continue casually dating while seeing other people, or you can both decide to stop it.

2) Talk about “labeling” your relationship

If she gets uncomfortable when you want to label your relationship, then that might show she is talking to other guys and doesn’t want to be exclusive with you.

But if she is open to “labeling” your relationship, you know, making it girlfriend or boyfriend, then you might have a great chance at being together officially.

3) Just let it go and keep dating her

Perhaps you really like this girl, but cannot read into her mind, so there’s no way to know for sure if she is talking to other guys. If you really like her, then keep dating her and just hope that she won’t.

Being with her is better than not being with her at all. If you think you can forgive a few slip ups, then continue dating and enjoy yourself!

Try to be a better man and get her so attracted to you that she simply has to stop talking to other guys and be with you officially.